My imagination has been out to play lately. I think that the physical constraints I'm under as I recover from my knee injury are resulting in my mind saying "yippee!".
As I've been nursing my injury and waiting to discover how serious it is and what my recovery will be like, I've had all kinds of thoughts. As I struggled with pain and lack of mobility, I started to see myself as instantly decrepit. Before my very eyes, my shoulders hunched, my ankles thickened and I lost inches from my height. All colour disappeared from my wardrobe. And from my hair. All heels disappeared from my shoes. Hair appeared on my chin. Nooooooo! I railed against this. No instant ageing for me!
My thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. It was from a blocked number. I answered anyway.
"Oh hello darling. How are you?" a fruity male voice said.
I thought this was an unlikely greeting from the bank. If my phone doesn't tell me who is calling I have no idea who it is.
I scrolled through my mental list of blokes who would ring me and call me darling.
During my appointment with the physiotherapist the other day, we were accompanied by incessant hammering on the floor above the treatment room. The Novotel Hotel is up there. We wondered what could be going on. Here's my list:
1. It's a carpentry convention and there are regular and rigorous demonstrations of hammering - perhaps a new hammer is on show.
2. It's the honeymoon suite in the hotel and they are reattaching the bedhead.
3. There's actually nothing up there and now they are building a hotel.
4. It's not hammering at all, but an Irish dancing, clogging or tap dancing gathering and they are practising.
5. It's a training session for the International Synchronised Hammering Championship.
6. It's a physiotherapy clinic for people with wooden legs.
7. It's an avant garde percussion group rehearsing their original composition, "Hammered".
8. It's an avant garde performance art piece and our reactions to the incessant banging are being filmed as part of a projection festival to be shown in Iceland.
9. Santa's Workshop has gone global.
10. There's a cockroach infestation and the only eradication method available is manual!