How important is my call, really?

There is no greater tool to distort the passing of time, than to be placed on hold by a call centre. The music is too tinny to be upbeat and even though the voice over is smiley and warm, it leads to thoughts of homicide. I made the tempting mistake of thinking I could make a "quick" call. As the minutes passed, it became an operatic melodrama.

I did the tracking on the website first. I expected to see something more recent than a visit to a western Sydney suburb three days ago. Was my package still there? Was it somewhere else? The website couldn't tell me.

I rang the number. To get to speak to someone, I first had to go through the same tracking process on the phone. I ended up in the same place, but this time, when I reached the end, I was able to say the word "consultant" so I could be placed on hold.

Well I was on hold for 20 minutes. That tinny music blared, only to be interrupted by overly cheerful announcements telling me I could get the answer from the website! I was at work and filed emails while I waited. That was the most useful part of the experience.

After 20 minutes a woman answered. I told her the story. She told me my parcel was in that western Sydney suburb. I asked her what it was still doing there. She suddenly noticed that it arrived there three days ago. She said it was probably on a truck and might still be delivered. I could tell she was faking. I asked her how she knew it was on a truck. She confessed that she didn't know; she was hoping. I pressed the point. She sighed. She asked me to confirm my business account details. I asked her what she meant. She told me the name of the workplace I was in. (The phones are jolly clever these days! We're all being watched, apparently.) She sighed, saying that she would need to put my personal details in. I provided them. This yielded nothing. She told me I was in the wrong section. I told her I said the word "consultant" when asked and here I was. She sighed again. She would have to put me through to another section. She couldn't do anything. I reminded her how long I had been on hold and that I wasn't really looking forward to another age of tinny music and falsely optimistic announcements from the voice over girl.

She was gone. I was on hold. The minutes ticked by. Slower than if I had been doing something enjoyable. My email in box was looking really good. I was scared I would run out of emails to file. It's amazing how much filing you can do in 30 minutes.

Neil said hello. I said hello. Another man said hello.

The line was crossed. The other man had been on hold for ages. Neil was confused. I was running out of emails to file. Neil concluded that we had a crossed line. He sensibly declared that he could only talk to one of us at a time. My details were the ones he had on the computer screen in front of him. YES! He would need to transfer Jamal.

With Jamal banished, Neil asked me how he could help. I was about to answer, but another man chimed in. I soon learned that his name was Eric. Neil explained that we had a crossed line and again demonstrated how clever he was. Eric disappeared. We started again. This time Brittany was also in the conversation. I started to laugh maniacally.

Neil concluded that this was a problem and said that we would both have to hang up. I was now 45 minutes into the phone call and hadn't resolved the issue. I wasn't giving up without a fight. I told Neil that someone would need to call me back. He promised they would; then said if they didn't I'd need to call back. I said it was unacceptable that there might be a possibility I would have to call back. I commented on how patient and good humoured I'd been so far.

Forty-five minutes later, my phone had not rung.

I called again. I went through the tracking process on the phone. I said "consultant". I went on hold.

By the time the call was answered by a person, I had run my errands in town, bought groceries and was on the train home, barrelling towards the inner west black spot where all phone calls drop out. North Melbourne is apparently in the wilderness of Melbourne.

I explained the black spot problem to Sue and asked if she would call me back if the call dropped out. She told me that wasn't possible. I got off the train. I stood on the platform as Sue clicked away on her keyboard and sighed and gave me no new information. Sue told me she really didn't know where the parcel was. She told me I couldn't complain until three business days after the EDD. That's the estimated delivery date. The EDD was the very day that I was filing my emails, having brief encounters with men called Neil and Jamal and Eric.

I asked how I make a complaint.

Sue told me I just needed to call. There was no hint of irony either.

This morning I woke up to an email from the recipient of the parcel to say it had arrived. I could have just asked, but had not wanted to spoil the surprise.

Happy Mother's Day Mum! Thanks for being my proofreader (after publication).

Can you hear body language?

Clients frequently challenge the idea that body language makes a difference in telephone communication. It's easy to resolve their challenge. Having worked briefly in a contact centre, I remember the floor being filled with people sending non-verbal signals during every phone call; even though the non-verbals were invisible to the person on the other end of the telephone.

My favourite example to illustrate the point, is to talk about my voice over work. When I record, I'm in a booth by myself. I don't just stand there. I embody the words and convey the message with my whole being. Only my voice will be used, so what I look like is irrelevant. But I do know that if I just stood still my voice would sound different. 

My brother said something to me the other day which was the perfect example. He was talking about a pretty tricky phone conversation and at one point he told me he could "hear the other person raising their eyebrows". This phrase gave me a very clear picture about what was happening in the phone call, even if I didn't have all the details about what was being said. My brother couldn't really hear the other person's eyebrows being raised - I can't imagine anyone having eyebrows that noisy - but he could hear their tone of voice. It's highly likely that the person to whom my brother was speaking was actually raising their eyebrows and this is what influenced their tone of voice.

Next time you're speaking on the telephone, check in with the picture you have in your mind. Most of the time, we "see" this picture unconsciously as part of our interpretation of the message we are receiving. 

You might even go a step further and try this out with a friend or colleague: ask them to adopt different postures (eg slump, stand up straight, smile, frown, check their Facebook page) and then speak. See if you can describe their body language. I've noticed that people are usually pretty good at deciphering the visual channel of face to face communication, even when it's invisible.

What are you conveying when you speak on the telephone? Check your body language. You'll be sending a message loud and clear; just make sure it's the one you intend to send.

Sucked into the call centre vortex

Every two years I have a conversation that I swear never to have again. I had it again yesterday. My mobile phone provider offered me the chance to upgrade my phone and get a better deal. Great, I thought. It will be okay. They've had two years to act on the feedback from the last delivery debacle. Oh, wait, that's what I said to myself two years ago.

The phone and the plan are both great. All the details were quickly sorted out. Then came the dreaded question: "What the is the address for delivery?"

I held my breath and gave my GPO Box which I rent from Australia Post and is completely secure.

The predictable reply came. "I'm sorry we do not deliver to post office boxes. You need to give me your home address."

I inhaled through gritted teeth and prepared to give the standard explanation.

"Who does the deliveries?" I asked.

"Australia Post," came the reply.

"My post office box is an Australia Post box. The parcel will be delivered and signed for by counter staff. You will give me a tracking number, so we will know where the parcel is at all times. A card will be placed in my post office box. I will open my post office box, discover the card and take it to the staff at the counter. The staff will locate the parcel, check my ID, scan it and ask me to sign. They will then give me the parcel. What is the security risk?"

"We don't deliver to post office boxes because they are not secure."

"Please explain to me what happens if you try to deliver to a physical address and I am not there to collect it."

"We will attempt delivery. If you are not there to receive the parcel a card will be left on your front door, and the parcel will be taken to the nearest post office," he explained.

"What happens then?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"You will need to take the card to the post office, hand it over to the staff and they will give you the parcel. You will need to do this within seven days or the parcel will be returned."

This felt like a really hard game of Spot-the-Difference.

We argued back and forth and I was ready to scream the next time the polite Indian man told me "don't worry Tanya, we will get this sorted out for you".

I considered having it sent to one of the workplaces where I work, but was worried as colleagues have had deliveries go missing. That seemed like the best option. I gave the address and specified that Wednesday was the only day I would be there to collect it.

Last night I received emails and texts confirming all the order details. The delivery address was basically my name and a suburb. While I have respect for Australia Post, I don't think that even they would be able to deliver the parcel with only that information. I clicked on the tracking number and the Vodafone website said that it was "on it's way" and "on the truck". I clicked a further link to the Australia Post website and was greeted with the news that the tracking number was invalid.

I became angry.

I called the "customer care" centre at Vodafone. After twenty minute of being on hold while the guy tried to figure out what was going on he suggested that I call Australia Post on Monday and ask them to change the address!

"Why would Australia Post change, over the phone, the delivery address of an item requiring personal deliver and signature when they have no way of verifying me? And anyway, how are they going to find the parcel when it has an invalid tracking number?"

"Well all you need to do Tanya, it is very simple, don't worry, is just give them a call on Monday and they can fix it for you."

"This is not my problem. This is Vodafone's mistake. I don't need to do anything."

"Well if you're not there, they will take it to the nearest post office for collection, don't worry."

"If I'm not "where"?"

"At the delivery address?"

"And what is the delivery address?"

...

"That's the problem isn't it? The parcel will not be delivered. It will be returned to sender. What you need to do is cancel this order and order me another phone for delivery with the correct address."

"Certainly, Tanya. That will take 10 business days..."

I try not to yell at call centre people. I've worked in one myself. I will confess that this morning I yelled. Nothing makes me as crazy as people who don't listen and aren't customer focussed. They were making this all my problem and it was not my problem.

"I started paying for the phone yesterday when I placed the order. Why do you think that I would be happy to wait for at least another three weeks to get the phone? That's ten days for you to get the phone back and then a week for another order to be placed and it to be re-sent. That is not what is going to happen. You're going to fix this."

"Don't worry Tanya. I will put you through to the upgrades team and they will be able to help you."

"Why didn't you do that 25 minutes ago?"

"Hello! Upgrades. Vipin speaking."

Suddenly I had been put through and it happened too quickly for a handover to have been done.


I told the story again.

"Oh well we can not add more information to the delivery details because our system doesn't allow the space."

This wasn't getting any better. I believe the hysterical, laughter may have entered the conversation at this point.

We went through exactly the same conversation as before. I was put on hold.

After 55 minutes on the phone Vipin offered to call Australia Post and change the delivery details to the complete address on Monday and confirmed that he will also call me on Monday to confirm arrangements. How they're going to find the parcel, given the tracking ID is invalid is beyond me, but I had nothing left.

Why was that not the solution offered in the beginning? I'm trying to have faith that the problem will be fixed, but I have no confidence. The only power I have is to take my business elsewhere. That will involve lots of paperwork,  more money and probably the same issue around delivery. Apart from this biennial problem, I'm very happy with the service and value. Why can't they get this right?

What's your strategy when you get sucked into the call centre vortex?

Car registration and licence renewal - sticky business.

Why is it so hard to remove the old registration sticker from the windscreen? My old one was peeling off on one side and tricked me into thinking it would be a piece of cake to remove it.  Boy, was I wrong! How can it be that one half of something just peels itself off and the other side requires a sand blaster and at least a week to remove?

Armed with my bottle of eucalyptus oil and a palette knife, I thought it would take a few minutes. Half an hour later, the windows were fogged and I was as high as a koala on eucalyptus. It seemed little progress had been made, but there was a carpet of tiny, sticky shavings of the old blue registration sticker all over the front seat.

At last I felt that enough had been removed to allow me to apply the new sticker. I pressed very lightly, hoping that this time next year, the removal process would be quick and easy. I have this thought every year. Every year I am disappointed.

The digital age is yet to reach Vic Roads. Surely we should just have a permanent bar code or a chip or something, but we're still on old, cumbersome technology.

I was actually late with my payment and realised the same day that my driver's licence had also expired. It hadn't been a problem because I only drive occasionally and I had been away travelling interstate. I logged onto internet banking ready to make the payments. I looked at all the paperwork I had received and could find no information about how to pay electronically. I called the call centre and was invited to pay over the phone - a method requiring credit card with only Visa or Mastercard offered as options. I enquired about BPay and was advised that because I needed a photo for my licence that option wasn't offered. In relation to the car registration, I was not able to pay by BPay because the payment was overdue. I would need to go to a Vic Roads office.  I opted to pay by credit card.

When I asked the woman about the lack of flexible payment options, she reminded me that my payment was overdue. Eternal damnation for me!

I confirmed with her that now that I had written the receipt number she provided on the driver's licence renewal I should take that to a "photo point"...? This seemed to be what the booklet and the form suggested.

"NO! Because your payment is overdue, you need to wait for me to send a zero balance data card to you in the mail. You then take that to the photo point. They won't take your photo if your renewal notice is showing a balance."

"Okay. But if I had paid on time, over the phone, I would be able to go to a photo point and they would take my photo?"

"Yes."

"But the renewal would not be showing a zero balance...?"

"I've already explained that your payment is overdue. I've explained that to you."

It truly did feel that the minute the clock struck midnight Vic Roads was going to make the process unbearably difficult - perhaps to motivate me to be more organised in ten years' time when my licence expires!

In the meantime, my car smells like eucalyptus and the new sticker is threatening to curl its corners.

myki public transport ticketing designed by Kafka

And we're back...Inspiration left me for a while there.  I think it was because I did something exciting that I can't tell you about just yet.  Time had to pass so there was space for something else to focus on.  And what better way than to talk about another bizarre process that I've discovered with Melbourne's public transport ticketing system, myki.

Things have been running fairly smoothly lately.  Generally, I've always thought that the day to day transactions with the card have run fairly well.  It's when you head into the "back office" process that the Kafkaesque trouble starts.

Last Thursday I travelled all over the place and then when I arrived at my home station, I could not find my myki.  Luckily I had registered the card so could immediately call and have the card blocked.  This protects any balance remaining on the card.  So far so good.  I also wanted the remaining balance returned to me. This is where the complexity seeps in.  They will transfer the balance onto a new myki and send it out in the mail as a result of my telephone request.  Sounds straightforward, except that I don't want or need another myki.  I have about half a dozen sitting on my desk.  These have been acquired for friends visiting or when I've arrived at the station and discovered the ticket isn't in my handbag so I've had to buy a whole new one (this could be rectified if there was a short term ticket option, but that has been explicitly ruled out by the State Government). I also acquired a couple through tasks required while I was a member of the customer experience panel giving feeback about all aspects of my experience with myki.

I asked for the balance to be put on one of the other cards that are registered on my account.  I was informed that the only way that can be done is if I fill in a paper form and post it in. The money is then transferred onto the card with the number nominated on the form. (Surprisingly) I don't even have to send in the myki I want to transfer to.  Why is a paper form required when all the details of registered cards are on my secure profile? (See what the Minister said about this issue in February 2012.)

"Why?" I asked.  "Because that's the process," came the answer.  To confuse matters further, the name of the form is "Refund and Reimbursement" which isn't really what we're talking about - it's a balance transfer.

Then I was informed that I was getting the benefit of a new card without having to pay the $6 purchase price.  That's true, except that I don't want or need another card and this is a public cost which is unnecessary.  What I want is my unused balance from the lost card to be put onto one of the cards I already have.  The cost would be minimal - especially if I could do it myself through my online account. Under the current process, the cost of a new card is added.

In the interests of highlighting problems so they can be fixed, I lodged feedback, specifically asking about why this is the process. Today I received a call from Kylie who informed me about the process.  I told her that I already know what the process is and I'm interested to know why this is the process. The conversation was pointless.

"All I can do is tell you what the process is and all you keep asking is why!"

"Well that's actually what I want to know."

"Well all I can tell you is what the process is."

"That's terrific, but I already know what the process is.  I actually want to understand the thinking that designed the process and point out how silly it is."

"All I can do is explain the process."

"What's the purpose of this phone call then? Was my feedback request not clear?"

"It was clear, but all I can do is explain the process and you keep asking why."

"Who should I be speaking to then?"

At the end of that exasperating exchange I was told to contact Public Transport Victoria via email or mail.

"Where are you from then? I thought I had contacted PTV initially."

"I work for PTV."

"Isn't that who you've said I have to talk to?"

"Yes, but I'm only in the myki section."

"But I'm wanting to talk about myki!"

"You need to send an email."

It's fitting really.  With such a costly, old-fashioned and convoluted process to get $4.84 back I don't know why I thought the feedback process would be smooth, streamlined and efficient. The other thing about all these processes is that the work onus is on the customer not on the service provider.  There is a benefit to Australia Post, so that's something.

I knew it was going to be weird when I had to go through an identification process to have the feedback conversation!  I refrained from asking the one question that was on my mind: why?

On hold - is my call really important?

One of the advantages of being housebound and under doctor's orders to rest, is that it frees up time to do some admin.  This morning's task features being on hold.  I've had a lot of time to consider what makes waiting in a telephone queue bearable and what is likely to cause me to throw the phone at the wall.

I have two case studies.  This morning I called the Tenants Union of Victoria for some advice.  They are a small, not for profit community organisation.  I expect to wait when I call them.  While I was waiting I received regular updates about my place in the queue and useful referrals to their website and reminders about what I'd need to have handy when my call was answered.  It turns out that I was on hold for about 25 minutes before my call was answered.  I didn't resent any of the time because the organisation kept me informed during the wait.  My call was cheerfully and helpfully addressed when it was answered.  Regular updates about my place in the queue enabled me to continue doing other things while I was waiting.

Contrast this experience with attempts to contact Crazy Domains.  This organisation has driven me to the point of rage.

I have a simple relationship with Crazy Domains - I have a couple of domain names parked with them.  They came up for renewal on 5 August this year and so began the psychodrama.

Firstly, when I attempted to pay online, via the link in the reminder email, I couldn't remember my password.  I clicked on the link to get a password reminder.  I'm still waiting!  Somehow, I managed to pay on my mobile phone without the need to log in to my Crazy Domains account.  I was happy about that because I didn't want my domains to be picked up by someone else.  When I made the payment through Paypal I received the email confirmation regarding the payment, but no tax invoice from Crazy Domains.  When I continued to receive emails advising that my domains had expired I started to wonder what had happened to my money.

Their website proclaims 5 star, award winning customer service and 24/7 support.  My experience doesn't even get one star and I am beginning to think that the slick front is not representative of the one-person-in-a-room-with-a-phone that is the reality.  On three occasions I called and was on hold for 25 minutes before the call just disconnected.  I was offered the option of requesting a call back which I did on a further three occasions.  The service promise was that I would not lose my place in the queue and that I would receive a call back when I reached the front of the queue.  It must be a VERY long queue, because I'm still waiting!

Meanwhile I was bombarded with messages about how fantastic the organisation is.  Questions like "Are you sick of your current provider?" made me laugh my head off.

I tried different things.  I selected the "sales" option when calling, thinking that they might be faster to deal with prospective clients.  No luck.

I then went to the email link to lodge a complaint.  I sent my first email on 6 August 2013.  I received an instant response with a ticket number and a promise that "One of our highly trained and friendly support consultants will review and reply within 24 hours." I received a response ELEVEN days later that failed to address any of my issues.  I responded and am still waiting for a response.

Over the weekend when I was confined to the house, I decided to try calling again.  This time the number was engaged.  All weekend.  Maybe that one person sitting with a telephone had decided to take the weekend off.

Today, I've made three phone calls.  They have been cut off/dropped out at various points.  I'm currently on hold and the phone call has been in progress for almost an hour with no resolution.  I've heard every excuse under the sun including that they just moved offices.  I asked when.  They said they were in "transition".  I asked when the transition started and when it would be over.  She responded by saying that there was a large volume of calls and if I wanted to make a complaint I could send an email.  Which I've already done.  To no avail.  I've now resorted to public statements on twitter and facebook in the hope that bad publicity might result in some action.  Reading the twitter feed is fascinating - it's populated by fed up customers complaining about the lack of service and difficulties making contact.

Now they claim that they're not Australian and don't have to provide tax invoices compliant with Australian law, yet the website provides an ACN (Australian Company Number) and is trading in Australia with an Australian address listed.  

They've *promised* to send me a receipt within 24 hours.  Somehow, I don't believe them, but I am gaining a new insight into their name...domains may be their name, but driving customers crazy is their game.

If you've had success with this organisation I'd love to hear how you did it!  What drives you nuts when you're trying to call an organisation?

It's myki madness time again!

Here's a story about myki.  It's also a story about stupidity.  Perhaps it's about bureaucracy gone mad.  Or it might be a story about losing touch with kindness.

A friend of mine works in a small boutique which sells clothing and accessories.  When checking the dressing rooms after a customer had gone, a left behind myki card was discovered.  Staff in the store put the card aside thinking that the woman who had mislaid it might come back at some point to reclaim it.

After a couple of days, there was no sign of the woman.  My community-minded friend called myki with the intention of reuniting the card with its owner.  She was advised by the woman she spoke to in the call centre that details could not be revealed because of privacy.  

My friend patiently explained that she didn't want any details, she just wanted to see the card returned. 

She was told by the operator that there was no way she could even go into the account that the card was attached to without speaking to the account owner.

My friend suggested that the card could perhaps be returned to myki who could then pass it back to the woman - provided of course the card had been registered.

NO.  None of that was possible.  No help could be given at all.  Because of "privacy".

This seems ridiculous.  It would make sense for myki cards to have an "if found return to PO Box 123, Melbourne" message.  Then details could be checked and cards/balances be returned.  Couldn't something like this work?

Maybe there is fear about some poor public servant somewhere drowning under a pile of lost myki cards.  

It could be made even more community-minded by donating to charity  the balance on cards unclaimed after a certain amount of time.

Privacy seems to have become a blanket excuse anytime big organisations don't want to go out of their way to help.  Usually it has nothing to do with privacy.  In this case, I understand that they wouldn't be giving the details of the card owner to my friend;  they don't need to and that's not what she was asking for.

So my friend has this myki card and she asked me what she should do with it.  I suggested that she could use it.  She was appalled and imagined a siren going off and a cage dropping over her the very moment she tried.  Thinking about it, if the owner knows they've lost their card and haven't been back for it, it might be registered and they might have rung up and blocked it, in which case the only thing for it is to throw it away.  (Or can cards be reset to zero and reissued so they are used for the term of their natural life?)

Seems silly to me.  Have you ever lost your myki?  (I have.) Was it registered?  How much money was on it?  How did you get home?

Scam calling

My land line just rang.  Usually the only people who use the line are members of my family.  I have a land line so they can call me and so I can connect to the internet.  I don't make outgoing calls on the land line - that's what I use my mobile for.  The number on the land line is also silent.  Despite this, I found it necessary to list the number on the "Do not call" register.

So when the phone rang this morning, I answered.  After I said "hello" there was the telltale pause that told me this was a call from an outbound call centre somewhere in the world.

A man's voice (Indian accent?) finally said:  "May I please speak to the business owner?"

I responded: "Who is calling please?"

"I'm calling to speak to the business owner."

"Who am I speaking to?"

"My name is Adam."

"Where are you calling from Adam?"

"I'm from e line (I think this is what he said) and I'm calling to talk to the business owner about your online presence."

"How did you get this number?  This number is silent and listed on the "Do not call" register."

"I'm very sorry."  Click.

I just now that this was a scam call.  Perhaps they were going to seek permission to access my computer.  Perhaps they were going to seek a payment for some imaginary service.

I find the tactics interesting.  Asking to speak to a non-specified but important person might work on some people, but to me it's like receiving junk mail addressed to "the Householder".  It's still advertising.

As I pressed Adam to reveal where he was calling from, I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

I wished he hadn't hung up straight away.  I'd love to have had the opportunity to press him for more details about the company and exactly how they got my number.  I've done this before and ended up speaking to several team leaders up the chain, taking up hours of their time for no productive benefit.  I figure that that's what they're trying to do with me.

After doing some research I've discovered that algorithms to generate phone numbers exist.  The resulting lists are then used by people like this to just randomly call numbers.  I'm pretty sure that if I had accepted the call the next thing I would have been asked is to confirm my details.  This would have given them the opportunity to collect the details.  Who knows what they would use them for - perhaps to make a follow up call that sounds more specific and has a better chance of them not being hung up on.

Having worked in an outbound call centre for a bank, I have learned a lot about the preparedness of people to give out their personal details after a very non-specific introduction.  My suggestion is not to give out your details without being certain about who you're calling.  If they say they are from a bank, ask which department and then get the number off their website and call back.  The bankers will say that verification of details is necessary to protect privacy before the discussion commences, but I think this is rubbish.  Privacy is better protected by the bank proving that they are real.  Everything has been turned on its head.

I've got enough on my hands dealing with the spam from banks that I don't bank with.  The other day I received email purporting to be from a bank I do bank with and it was pretty good.  The thing that gave it away was the poor grammar.  I called the bank and they gave me an email address to forward it to.  They seemed grateful to be alerted.

You can also report spam to ACMA (in Australia).  The address is report@submit.spam.acma.gov.au
Don't click on any of the links in the email, just forward the whole thing to that address.  I wonder what happens then?  Imagine having that job - reading spam! I suppose at least they are paid to do that.  At this end, it's just a waste of time that takes up space on my email.


Have you had scam calls lately?  How do you handle them?  Have you ever been caught out? What happened? What do you do with spam?  I'd love to hear your stories.

Emergency services call - communication failure.

My local ABC radio station just played the audio of a call to "000" emergency services.  The call was from a young woman called Penny Pratt and she was murdered soon after she made this call.  You can listen to the call here.

I've been working with medical students all day today, providing feedback on their communication skills, so perhaps I'm particularly attuned to communication flaws at this moment if hearing the call.

I don't know any more about the case and I certainly have never worked in the emergency services environment.  I imagine that it must be a fairly challenging communication environment, but I have never experienced it myself.  That said, I have worked in a call centre (debt collection for a bank) I teach communication and work with people to resolve conflict.  I understand what it's all about.

It sounds like the worker who took the call had lost sight of the needs and situation of a person calling emergency services and was putting her own needs first.  Empathy was absent.  Here we have a woman hiding in the bush from two men who have put her in fear of her life.  An empathetic person would recognise why the woman calling is whispering and a bit erratic in her communication.  She's in full "fight or flight" mode...she's HIDING IN THE BUSH!  She's not sitting at a desk or standing on the street making a call.  Two men are going to kill her!

The response from the worker who took the call reacts to the whispering as if the woman calling is speaking quietly to make her life difficult rather than imagining what it would be like to be in fear of your life.

The call quickly escalates into a power play where the operator is complaining that the caller is making it hard for her to do her job.  If it gets too hard, help will be withdrawn.  Details about the street name and suburb had been clearly stated by Penny Pratt, yet the operator asked for them to be repeated and then asked a question, citing a different suburb.  Instead of diffusing the emotion, the operator's tone, as well as her words, create conflict.  Suddenly Penny Pratt is facing conflict on two fronts - one she is running from and one from the person she has turned to for help.

This poor woman called "000" twice, asking for police assistance.  Neither of the calls were referred onto the police.  She was found dead soon afterwards.

I understand that there would be certain key pieces of information which need to be gained by the emergency services operator so that the call can be passed onto the relevant service.  However, in this situation, a person who is really listening to the words as well as the context would be able to hear that the police needed to get there very quickly.

This is all obvious, basic communication skills.  I am wondering what emotional support is given to the staff so that they have enough resilience to ensure they focus on the needs of the caller rather than their own needs.

I've called "000" on a few occasions, but never when my life is under threat.  I've usually been a bystander reporting violence to police or calling an ambulance for an ill commuter travelling on the same train as me.  Regardless of the fact that my life hasn't been under threat, I have an expectation that calling "000" will help me, efficiently and without fuss - not put me through the process wringer.

It must be awful for the call centre operator to know what happened to Penny Pratt not long after this conversation took place.

I hope that her employer focusses on improving training and support to staff rather than punishment or performance management.  I'd love to talk to the call centre operator and find out what was going on for her...what was the last call she'd taken?  What had happened to her that day? That week?  What else had she heard that day? Had her supervisor chipped her about something? Had she had some bad news? We're all human and carry our human responses into everything.

Mistakes, however tragic, all provide a learning opportunity.  I hope it's taken up.

On the phones today

My head hurts. I've been talking to people on the phone again today.  Not friends, people in call centres representing a business or a government department.  I quite like talking to my friends on the phone.  One of these friends likes to point out that I have a very high standard when it comes to what I expect from people providing a service.  He says that the standard will never be met but that the world would be a better place if it was met!

How funny that the day after such a conversation I would be talking to a logistics company about the delivery of a parcel.

I made a purchase online the other day in spite of my past experience with this particular logistics company.  This morning I was working from home until about 10:30am.  As I walked out of the house, I checked my letterbox and discovered a "sorry we missed you" card.  They had apparently not been able to find me at home at 9am and had left without delivering my parcel, despite the fact I was in my loungeroom and about a metre from the front door.  I now had to call to make alternative arrangements which are designed to incur costs (for me) or require me to travel far and wide to collect my parcel.

During the 25 minute telephone call, I was advised that my property was inaccessible.  It is not.  There is a gate.  With a handle.  Entry is gained by turning the handle and pushing the gate inwards.   It's not locked.  It's not stuck.  You just open the gate.  The gate is right near my letterbox - where the card was left.  So it's not hiding either.

I was then asked if there was a dog.  Not as far as I know.

I asked them to send the parcel to my post office box.  They reacted as though I had handed them a lump of something disgusting.  They can't do that.  They won't do that.

I then said this: "It looks like my only option is to call the company from whom I made the purchase and cancel the order, advising them that the reason I'm doing that is because their delivery partner can't do its job."

The response was: "We can organise to return the parcel to the sender."

It seemed incredible that they could organise that, but couldn't get the parcel to me!

Their next response was better - they are going to deliver the parcel this evening.  I hope.

Next up was the Tax Office.  I don't know anyone who loves calling the Tax Office, but I've generally found my dealings have been pretty good.  Numbers aren't my thing, but I'm not an idiot, and sometimes people who love and understand numbers think you are an idiot if you need to work through the numbers slowly.

Basically I'd made a calculation error on my Business Activity Statement and had to pay some more money.  No problem.  The letter was threatening, yet vague and required a call just to confirm what had happened and what I now needed to do.

I made the call at 3:30pm today.  I finished speaking to the fifth person at 5:45pm!  The fifth person was the complaints department.  The third person in the chain was actually the fourth phone call because of the misdirection to an automated IVR by the second person.  Still following? The second person was one of those people who was very polite and gave the illusion of being helpful, but he was an over-explainer.  After 30 minutes we had not advanced at all.  I had to end the call before I said something better left unsaid.    With the third person I hit a wall when they told me I was not an authorised person to speak about the account.  She was the first person to raise this and I can tell you that my business name is basically my name, so if I'm not authorised who is?  Apparently they can talk to my accountant but not to me.

At this point I was ready to scream or cry.  I could feel my will to live draining out through the soles of my shoes.

I asked to speak to the team leader.  The third person said that she could "hear what I was saying" and "understand where I was coming from" and then she said "BUT".  It killed the mood.  I asked to speak to her team leader again.  She asked me what I wanted to speak to the team leader about. I asked her if she really didn't know.  She put me through.

The team leader was pleasant and helpful and agreed that the experience I'd had this afternoon is not the experience the Tax Office would like people to have.  One can only hope.

After fifteen minutes talking to the complaints department I had all the information and my issue was resolved.  Miraculous!  Why was the only good service provided by the complaints department?  Perhaps the system is self perpetuating.

At the end of the call, I said that the only thing left for me to do was invoice the Tax Office at my usual hourly rate for the two hours I had spent today.  Without blinking, the woman said that it is possible to claim compensation and she referred me to the website.  Of course the first thing on the list of things you can't claim as a loss is "personal time spent resolving an issue".  We could argue about the difference between "personal" and "business" time, but I'm realistic about who would win that.

Now, where's my parcel?

Customer service - what business are you in?

Yesterday I spent two hours on the phone to my internet service provider.  The first hour was frustrating and pointless.  The second hour actually led to my problem being solved - after I called back and spoke to someone else.  I told a friend about this and she told me she had spent hours on the phone also, organising utilities in the context of moving house.

Our experience was similar, although with different companies.  Most call centres seem to be geared towards delivering a standard line.  The ability to listen to a customer and identify their needs is mostly absent.  Lately, I've noticed that conversations start with the operator telling me information I already know.  It's a bit like the game show host who makes statements about the contestants, but pretends they are questions:  "Next up is Mary.  And Mary you were a teenage Sumo wrestling champion."   It sounds like this: "So Tanya you're on the Anytime Plan for $x per month. Your next bill is due on 17 September." Fabulous.  I know all of this and none of it has anything to do with what I said I was calling about!

My problem yesterday was that I'm caught between two companies.  My provider was bought by another company.  Over three months ago I received a letter telling me that I would be "migrated" to the new system.  Details of my new plan were also provided.  I was pretty happy.  For the same monthly outlay my monthly data allowance would go from 12GB to 200GB!  Perfect.  Because of changes to my work patterns, television habits and the acquisition of an ipod, I've been regularly reaching my limit.  When this happens my broadband is "throttled", although they now seem to prefer the term "shaped".  It really means that internet speed is slowed down to dial up speed. Excruciating and unworkable.

Clearly, I've outgrown my current plan, but I'm supposed to be getting a new one so there's no point in changing.  No one can give me a timeframe for migration and the figures about the numbers of accounts being migrated have not changed over the last three months of conversation.  The attitude of the first person I spoke to was "there's nothing I can do about it; accounts are being migrated; when you are migrated, you will be on blah blah plan."

By the end of the first hour yesterday, it wasn't just my broadband that was going to be throttled!

The fascinating thing is that when I called back and spoke to Maria, there was a whole world of possibilities she was able to suggest.  The problem has been resolved.  She even called me back this morning to finalise the transaction!  Just like she said she would!

I wonder why customer service organisations wouldn't ensure that every person who calls in encounters someone like Maria.  Maria who listens.  Maria who is able to identify and understand a customer's needs. Maria who is then able to match those needs to the various company offerings.  Maria who honestly admits when she doesn't know the answer and follows up.  Why do we more usually encounter the defensive person whose job description seems to be to deflect and distract until the customer goes away?

My friend who is moving house has a theory.  She believes that this is actually the role of call centre staff in most organisations, especially utilities.  Most people will give up and the deflection will work.  This frees the staff up to churn through more calls.  When people like me or her call and we persist, my friend believes that we are then identified and the tactics change.  This is when options are offered.  If we are offered options we feel like our needs are being addressed.  Sometimes they will be.

I really hope she's wrong, but I fear that she is correct.

This morning I was sent a survey to comment on the service I had received.  I gave a very detailed response, as I do every time, in the hope that someone, somewhere may take some notice.

I think part of the problem is how organisations see themselves.  I don't think my ISP sees itself as being in the business of customer service.  I think it sees itself as being in the business of wires and nodes and megabytes.  If that's where your mindset is, the kind of response from call centre staff makes sense.

I spent some time working in a call centre for one of the big banks a couple of years ago.  My job was to call people about their overdue credit cards.  I did very well against my targets.  The reason I believe I was so successful was that I approached my work from a customer service perspective rather than from a debt collection perspective.  It made a huge difference to the people I spoke to as well as making the work more sustainable for me.

Where is the mindset of your organisation?  Are you focussing on the right things?  What are your people thinking about?  If you asked your people to describe their job role, are you confident about what they'd answer? I'd love to know.

I love helping organisations with this kind of thing.  Start a conversation by using the email button on my "about me" page.

Have call centres killed face to face customer service?

Last week, my virtually new ipod stopped working.  I had had an intense day and was looking forward to taking advantage of the thoughtfully provided ipod dock in my hotel room with some music to shake the day off.

I chose my favourite track and pressed 'play'.  Nothing happened.  Well, there was no sound, but the ipod started to flick through every track, stopping only for a few seconds before moving onto the next track.  Most unsatisfactory.

For a long time my life was perfectly fine without an ipod in my handbag.  My first iphone introduced me to having access to large portions of my music collection at my fingertips and the flexibility to create playlists specifically for use in my facilitation and mediation work was too good to pass up.  I rarely listen to music when I'm just travelling around Melbourne.  I like eavesdropping and  soaking up life too much to remove myself.  Occasionally I will plug in when there's someone annoying talking at the top of their lungs without anything interesting or amusing to say.

My ipod is now an essential item when I'm flying.  As soon as I'm allowed to, I plug in and enjoy my private cocoon.  The fact it wasn't working in a week when I had five flights to complete was a big deal.

When I arrived in Canberra I went in search of anyone who might be able to help.  The guy at JB Hi Fi was engaging and helpful with general suggestions, but couldn't really help.  Half way through our conversation he mentioned that there was an Apple store across the road and they might be my best bet. I thanked him and headed over.  I was surprised and disappointed.

I stood in the store - at the counter - for more than five minutes before I was acknowledged by a staff member.  A guy came over and asked me how he could help.  I explained that my ipod had stopped working and I was wondering where I should start.  Before I'd even uttered the word 'ipod' he had written down the phone number for a service centre and handed it to me, saying I should just call.

I said that I wasn't a local and was just wondering whether there was a suggested fix or list of things to troubleshoot first.  He asked me a question.  I can't remember what it was because as I answered he started to look at everyone else in the shop except me.  At one point, I stopped talking.  He noticed after a few seconds and asked me to "go on".  I resumed my answer and he resumed his lack of interest in me and acute interest in everyone else in the world.  Without another word, I walked out.  I didn't even finish my sentence.

As I left, the guy called out "sorry" to my back.  Sorry?  What for?  A complete failure of basic courtesy and the basic requirements of face to face communication between human beings? Hi previous employment may have been in a call centre, where multi-tasking during conversations is an essential on-the-job skill.  It doesn't work very well when the customer is physically present.

When I arrived back home, I went to visit Techville here in Yarraville.  The difference was refreshing. I was immediately greeted and within five minutes the paperwork was complete and my ipod was ready to go off to hospital.

I told the bloke in my local store about my experience in Canberra.  He was also appalled and said that if he had a staff member treat a customer the way I described, that staff member would not last long.  Fair enough too.

With all the pressure on the retail sector at the moment, I would have thought that a big brand like Apple would perform better in the bricks and mortar store.  On the other hand, one of my friends insisted that no one can meet the gold standard of service which I look for.  I am hyper-aware of communication - that's the field that I work in.  I'm also working with retail managers for a major client at the moment, so I know that I have expectations because of this work.

What do you think?  What do you expect when you walk into a retail store?  How would you react to the guy I came across?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY & YOU GET THE GIFTS!
As I contemplate renewing my commitment to divacultura for another year, I feel excitement and affection.  Thank you for sharing some of your time with me. As a thank you gift - and so I can gain a better sense of who's out there - I'll be giving away a pair of my hand knitted socks to two very lucky readers, where ever you are in the world (ie two readers will receive a pair of socks each).  To be in the running, leave a comment on this post by Friday 17 August 2012, stating why you like reading divacultura. My favourite responses will receive the prize (my decision is final).  Why not take the opportunity to sign up and follow too! 

And there are still passes to see The Sapphires available here for Australian-based readers.

As a geek girl, I rule!

At this exact moment, I feel like I could conquer the world.  I feel like I have gained secret knowledge which gives me special powers.  It has taken a lot of thinking, sweat, frustration, persistence and ultimately dogged determination to arrive at this point.  Having done so, this smug feeling requires some revelling.

It all started on Thursday when I took delivery of my new iphone.  It's the 4s.  I previously had a 4.  I didn't expect that switching from one to the other would be too difficult.  I followed all the instructions, using itunes to transfer everything from the old phone to the new phone.  Simple.

I have three different email accounts which are (were) connected to my iphone so I can access everything on the go.  I remember their set up being very straightforward.  My main account is gmail and every time I tried to access the mail I would get a message telling me that my username or password was wrong.  This was a lie!  My username and password were not wrong.  They were correct.

I tried again.  The same thing happened.  Tried again. Same thing. Again. Nothing happened. 

No other process has the ability to put me into a state of helpless frustration.  I'm a smart person.  I'm not afraid of technology.  I am happy to follow instructions.  The worst thing is that all you are given in this situation is an error message.  There is no ability to ask a question or seek directions about fixing the problem.

I decided I would change my gmail password on my computer and then just input the new one on the iphone.  At the end of this process and carefully triple checking the password, the same error message came up.

I called Vodafone for help.

The woman told me to delete the account, turn the phone off and start again.  Everything would be fine.

Famous last words.  Everything was not fine.  When I turned the phone back on and tried to access my gmail it delivered the same infuriatingly uninformative message.  Talk about computer says "no"!  I put the phone away.  Perhaps if I gave it some privacy it would sort itself out and we could be friends again.

After some dinner and a TV show, I came back and lovingly punched in my brand spanking new password. No.  Again.  For luck.  NO NO NO NO NO!

I called Vodafone again.  The guy told me to do exactly what I'd already done.  We did it again. No. We restored the factory settings.  We tried again. No.  He suggested I log into gmail via the Safari web browser. Hey presto!  I could access the account.  He sighed.  See, I was telling the truth about my password.  Then he did what all good call centre people do when they don't know the answer: he fobbed me off with a rubbish suggestion and blamed me for the problem.  

"It's because you changed your password.  It takes 48 hours for the password to reach the server.  Just wait and try again later."

48 hours? Google doesn't take 48 hours to do anything.  I was suspicious and asked some questions like "how come I can log in on the browser then?".  The answer was to just wait 48 hours.  Everything will be fine.

Everything was not fine.  I turned on my Sony tablet and received the same refusal of entry to my gmail.  Hmmm. Progress. This wasn't an iphone problem.  It was something to do with gmail.

Another Vodafone guy promised to get tech support to call me again this morning.  This didn't happen.  I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I googled the problem.  Thousands (millions?) of people have had the same problem as me!  There were lots of different suggestions about what to do.  With hope in my heart I followed the instructions in the first one.  No. Then the second.  No.  Then the third one.  No.  I struggled for breath as I fought the urge to throw the phone at the wall.

Taking matters into my own hands, I delved into the gmail settings and took a punt on "application specific passwords".  This is part of the two step verification process which is set up on an opt in basis.  I had obviously opted in at some point and here lay the answer.  I could see "gmail on iphone" and "gmail on tablet".  I revoked access on both and then requested a new application specific password.  Now my heart was racing with excitement - I could feel that the end was nigh - in a good way.

I punched the provided password into the iphone and suddenly my gmail account went nuts.  Mail was flooding in! There was no waggling of the finger as I was told that my password was wrong.  My heart sang!

Google has put layers of security on to its log on procedures, and getting a new application specific password would be the first thing to do.  The security is a good thing in my opinion, but it's so easy to forget once it has been set.  Why do the technical help desks not suggest this?  I would ring them back and tell them but I don't think they care.

STOP PRESS>>> Vodafone called me back just now as I'm writing.  I've provided the solution to them.  It was news to them and they seemed pleased to know.  They were even sweet enough to congratulate me.

Now that I have established myself as a geeky tech grrrl, I'm ready to try again in my quest to conquer the wireless printer.  Wireless my eye!  I will get there.  I've hunted down DOS commands to find IP addresses and I'm having fantasies that I'm more savvy than Lisbeth Salander, you know, the girl with the dragon tattoo.  

I'd better not get ahead of myself.  At the moment, the printer has its teeth bared and is laughing its head off.

*******

Something else I've learnt this week is that if your phone company gives you the option to contact them via social media, do it!  Despite the grievances which have arisen with Vodafone this week, I'm impressed with their social media.  Responses on Twitter were fairly instant.  I ended up having the problem resolved via facebook.  Only through facebook was I able to make contact with someone local via email and telephone.  I don't think I'll ever ring again! Thought you might like to know.

Train travel in Melbourne OR how to take your chances about where you'll actually end up.

Following on from yesterday's post about "customer service" and call centres, I am pleased to report that just before 9am, Valerie from Citylink called me.  I think Valerie must be in the other building where head office is.  She had located my missing payment.  How easy was that!  It took a far shorter time than a week and temporarily restored my faith that integrity still exists.

****

After that splendid start to the day, imagine my annoyance when the train I am travelling home on has whizzed past my stop, and the next one, and the next one, eventually leaving me in another area all together.  I dashed (as far as this was possible in a peak hour crush in the rain) to the opposite platform only to have the doors on the train close in my face, leaving me to wait.

I went to speak to the staff.  At least this was a station with staff, so there was someone to ask.  The woman had obviously been to the call centre school of customer service.  The first step is to stand well back from the glass barrier.  The handbook must specify that if the customer can hear you, you are standing too close.  Move back!  Your next move is to mock the person speaking to you.  If you can treat them like an actual idiot and project all fault for the plight in which they find themselves, then you're doing exactly the right thing. When the customer raises their voice (as they inevitably will when you mock them) you then have justification to move even further back from the glass.

When evidence is produced (say in the form of an official printed timetable) the staff member must then randomly select any other piece of information which confirms that the customer is an actual idiot, even if it has nothing to do with the issue being discussed.

When it all becomes too much the ultimate defensive move is to wave the phone number of the call centre "customer service" department and speak in encouraging tones about the satisfaction which will be attained by calling them.

****

Of course I called when I arrived home.  Eventually.  I spoke to Carl.  Carl was a little distracted by the endless stream of text messages coming in on his mobile phone or a phone near him.  The long periods of silent, dead air were the give away that I had been placed on mute.

I told the story.  Carl, as a customer service professional dedicated to providing no service whatsoever, failed to even acknowledge the inconvenience, frustration or difficulty of finding oneself four suburbs away from home.

I drew Carl's attention to this fact and he gave me this response:

"It's not up to me to apologise.  It's nothing to do with me."

I asked him who he worked for.  Perhaps I had called the wrong number and was talking to someone entirely unrelated to train travel in Melbourne.  No, he was from Public Transport Victoria, the overarching body for public transport in Victoria.

I suspect that Carl hates his job.  I don't blame him.  Being the person who has to take complaints from the travelling public would not be fun.  I wonder what gets him out of bed in the morning.  I'm sure that the individual people who are so horrible to deal with in the call centres do not set out to be horrible to deal with.  Surely! They must become so worn down by the grind of conflict with faceless strangers that they adapt accordingly.

****
Ordinarily the idea of boarding a train to a random, perhaps unknown, destination seems like a cheap way to have a home town adventure.  When I'm doing that, I'll pack a picnic and be wearing appropriate clothing.  I'd also bring friends.  I just want to be clear that I'm not opposed to adventure.  There is a difference between adventure and inconvenience.

How did you travel home today?  Was the trip eventful or dull and predictable?  (Just the way I like it at the end of a busy day.)

Your call is so important to us we're going to treat you with contempt.

Today was characterised by communication - sometimes success, but largely failures.  I do a lot of rework or double handling of issues on behalf of large organisations.  Managing the relationships with large service providers should not be my responsibility.  I think they should do everything possible for our relationship to be set and forget.  I want it to be invisible.  I don't want to have to talk to anyone.  If something does arise and I do have to talk, I don't want it to take three phone calls of half an hour's duration every time.

Last week I called Citylink because I received a letter telling me I had travelled illegally on the toll road because my car is not registered for travel.  My car is registered for travel.  I have an account.  I would have to call.

I spoke to Michael who was very helpful.  He told me my account had no credit card details registered.  I told him my account has always had a credit card on it.  He told me it never had.  I told him to look at the history of payment for the last bazillion years to see how the payments had been made.  Of course they had been via direct debit from my credit card.  He suggested the card may have expired.  It hadn't.  I gave him the number.  I also said that I would pay the amounts outstanding immediately by b-pay.  I entered the biller code and customer reference number into my banking system as he dictated them to me over the phone. The payment went through.  I had a receipt number and everything.

Late last week I received another letter telling me I was about to receive a fine because I hadn't paid the account.  I would have to call again.

Today I spoke to Stephanie.  Stephanie works in a call centre and the main part of her job is to actually listen.  Stephanie would ask me for information.  I would give it to her.  She would ask me to repeat it.  This got old after the third time when I politely asked her to listen to me.

Once we dealt with that, she advised me that I hadn't paid anything on the account.  I logged onto internet banking and quoted the details of where the money had left my account.

"You've used the wrong biller code," was Stephanie's response.

"I used the biller code provided to me over the phone by Michael," was my response.

She went on to tell me that I was wrong and now the payment was lost and it would require people in head office to "look into it".

I asked Stephanie how long that would take.

"A week."

I asked Stephanie what happens to my account and ability to travel in the meantime.

"Your account is suspended because you haven't paid it so you're not registered to travel. You can buy a day pass for $14 if you want."

There was so much wrong with this statement, I decided to take a different tack.

"Please put me through to the relevant person in head office."

"That's not possible."

"Why not?"

"They're in a different building."

"We're in a different building and we're able to speak to each other...please put me through to the relevant person in head office."

"The only way you can contact them is to send them an email."  Stephanie gave me the address.

"Please put me through to your manager."

"Certainly."

I was placed on hold for the amount of time it took for me to make a toasted ham and cheese sandwich (with French mustard and a twist of pepper) for lunch.  I had plated up and was about to take my first bite when Stephanie came back on the line to advise me that her team leader would need to call me back.

I asked for the team leader's name (Amy) and advised that she would need to call before 3pm as I would be at the hairdresser then.

At 3:05pm my phone rang.  I just answered with "hello" as the call was from a blocked number and I always like to know who's calling before I get too friendly.

The woman on the other end of the phone said:  "So you're concerned that you've got four late toll notices and charges of about $500 is that right?"

"No.  Who is calling please?"

"I'm a team leader at Citylink.  I was asked to call you back."

"Are you Amy?"

"Yes."

"Well Amy, I don't have four late toll invoices and my charges are no where near that amount, that I know of.  What's going on?"

"Are you Karen?"

"No.  I'm Tanya."

"Oh yes, sorry.  I was calling Karen.  I have to call you too."

"Well while you've got me, shall we talk about my situation even though I'm now at the hairdresser and it isn't really convenient?"

We did manage to clarify a few things but it was a clunky way to start and I won't believe that anything has been fixed until I actually see that it has been fixed.  Meanwhile, I'm still not registered to travel.  Luckily I drive infrequently.

At the other end of the spectrum, I had a love note from my mobile phone provider (Vodafone) offering me an upgrade on my phone and an unbelievable deal if only I would swear loyalty to them for a little while longer.  Great!  I don't want to change providers but I don't want to pay more for anything and I'm pretty happy with the plan that I'm on,  so let's see what the details are.

Within fifteen minutes, I had been offered a new phone, an extra $150 worth of calls a month, an increase in my data allowance for exactly the same price I was paying now.  I said yes.

I knew that the next question was going to be about delivery.  They won't deliver to a post office box because a signature is required.  This is despite me regularly receiving parcels which require signature on receipt.  I've stopped arguing about this one now as I work from home and am often likely to be here.

I asked when it would be delivered and was told Wednesday or Thursday.  I know that I won't be available on Wednesday so asked for them not to deliver that day.  Suddenly everything became difficult.  "Well, I can put a note on the account but I can't guarantee anything.  If you're not there when it's delivered it will go to the post office and you can collect it there."

I sighed.  Because that is so different from delivering it to my post office box in the first place.  I rolled my eyes.  I succumbed.

We'll see what happens.  I have this funny feeling that I'll come home to a card in the letterbox on Wednesday evening and complex conversations will need to take place.  At least I don't have to drive on a toll road to go and pick it up if that does happen.

Are my expectations too high?  Should I expect less when I'm dealing with "customer service" departments? What drives you crazy about talking to customer service call centres?