Things I noticed this week

A city craft and fabric shop is in the midst of a closing down sale with all merchandise selling at half price. I went to stock up on knitting yarn.

While there, I spied a man who looked about fifty with a long roll of bright blue satin fabric under his arm and a steely look in his eye.

A young girl screamed with delight as she saw some horrendous, brightly coloured acrylic yarn, "OMG! OMG! OMG! Look mama!" Mama looked, but was having trouble meeting her daughter's level of enthusiasm.

While shopping, I asked another woman if she knew what was happening to the store - were they closing all together, or moving to another city location? The woman told me they were closing all together.

"Well that's a shame," I said, "but it's better for my bank balance!"

"You're such an optimist!" another woman told me. "I was feeling sad that the store is closing, but you've managed to find the up side."

"You're right - I am an optimist."

As I stood in the queue waiting to pay for my haul, a woman discussed her financial woes, loudly, on her mobile phone. She was going to talk to Centrelink about getting a loan as an advance on her welfare payment. That would come to about $1500 but by the time she paid everyone back the money she already owed them, there would only be $80 left. After she paid for the fabric she was buying in the sale, she'd only have, like, $20 left! She could not discuss further because she was about to be called up to pay for her purchase. I held my tongue.

*****

I've started to take my car to be cleaned at a nearby place that has a dozen young men working on the cars and a cafe for the car owners to sip on a latte and watch the work like members of the privileged class. I am always greeted promptly and enthusiastically and the coffee is excellent.

Today, when I arrived, one of the staff stormed past me, closely followed by the man in charge. The man in charge was intercepted by the man who had greeted me, and asked to make a recommendation on what the best service for my car would be today. He stopped, smiled, gave me and my car his full attention, recommended a wash and polish and then continued in pursuit of the other man.

As I walked up the stairs into the cafe, I heard a raised voice and saw the man who had stormed off, waving his arms and yelling at the man in charge. Something about just wanting to go off and have a smoke. The man in charge very calmly asked him not to raise his voice. The other man continued to wave his arms and yell. He was asked again, firmly and politely not to raise his voice. I turned and looked. The man in charge apologised and suggested I continue into the cafe to wait for my car. I did.

Sitting behind the glass window, I soon noticed the loud man arrive back on the scene and start work again. He looked willing. I wondered what was going on, but soon forgot that as I settled in to read the Sunday paper and my novel over a delicious cafe latte. Forty minutes flew by and soon the man in charge came and told me my car was ready - with a huge smile and a sense of pride.

I really like these guys. They seem to take real pleasure in their work and service and even if I pay quite a bit for it, I'm willing because the whole experience is so smooth and pleasant.

*****

Signs in workplace kitchens and rest rooms always fascinate me with their earnest futility.

This week in the women's toilets of one of the places where I was working I saw this sign:
"If you are brushing your teeth, please don't leave food particles in the sink. Thank you."

My mind boggled as I wondered what had led to that note. Perhaps someone had vomited. Imagine being unwell at work and followed closely by the workplace prefect, ever ready with a printed sign to tape to the mirror.

In the same rest room, behind the closed door of one of the stalls was this sign: "The state of these toilets has been leaving a lot to be desired. Please leave them neat and tidy and make sure you flush."

Everything looked perfectly okay when I was there. Maybe the sign was working, or there was some neat freak with too much time on their hands writing anonymous signs and posting them in the bathroom. I bet that if I visited the kitchen, there would be signs there too. Alas, I didn't get to see.

How are things with you?

Beware the stick figures and salmon balls

A couple of things I saw today caused me to raise my eyebrows.

A blackboard menu outside a cafe was offering "salmon balls" for lunch.  For a mere $15 too.  I was pleased that the usual penchant for ill-placed apostrophes hadn't taken hold.  Offering "salmon's balls", or even "salmons' balls" would have delayed me significantly, as I would have been forced to satisfy both my appetite and my curiosity.

Later, I was visiting my local K-mart on the quest to add a slow cooker to my kitchen.  The store is on the lower ground level and entry and exit are via travelators (you know, escalators, but without the steps).  The one on the left was not moving and the one on the right was travelling up.  I stood at the top, wondering what to do.  There were several aggressive signs advising that walking on the travelator is "prohibited", but the only way down was to walk on the travelator.  I stood there contemplating.  There was a teenage boy standing at the bottom of the travelator holding an armful of store catalogues.  No doubt he had some special punishment powers available to him when people - like me, for instance - breached the prohibition on walking.  

I decided to risk it.  Luckily, as I neared the end of my walk, he was distracted by a small African boy.  But that small African boy was not distracting enough and was gone, just as I walked off the end of the travelator.  The teenage boy noticed me and called out "Hello!" as I scurried past.  I kept walking without looking back.  Phew!  That was close!

Having completed my purchase, I thought it would be easy to exit without breaking the law as the travelator was moving upwards and towards the exit.  I would just stand there and wouldn't walk at all.  Except for the bit at the beginning where I walked on to the travelator. And the other bit at the end, where I walked off the travelator.  I resented being turned into a criminal.

So there I was, just standing, enjoying the leisurely journey up to street level (they had the speed set to a smidgen faster than glacial today), when I noticed another series of threatening signs.  The first one said that the travelator was for "passengers only".  I remain confused about the message conveyed by this sign. I think it referred to the fact that only passengers are permitted to travel on the travelator.  But then, who else would be travelling on the travelator?  Wouldn't everyone who stepped onto the travelator become a passenger by definition? Perhaps there had been a spate of livestock transitting through...but what would be the point of the sign?  Sheep and cows probably don't read English.  Or were they hoping to deter people moving their pianos and baby elephants on the travelator? 

It was all very confusing.

Then there was a frightening sign where the stick figures on the travelator looked like they were receiving some kind of electric shock where they gripped the handrail.  I know it was an electric shock because it was  depicted with sharp, pointy and yellow lines.  The same result could be achieved if they put their stick figure feet too near the edge of the travelator.  The baby stick figures were receiving the same treatment.

Suddenly it all became clear!  Stick figures had been wandering around Footscray, taking up space on K-mart's travelators, walking on them and everything!  Something had to be done and so they were being told in the only language they understand - stick figure pictograms.  It was stick-figureism at its most blatant. And in my neighbourhood too. 

I'm far from being a stick figure.  The signs weren't meant for me at all.  Be careful though; those stick figures can be very dangerous when they venture off the page.