Leadership lessons - Shifting the boss/worker paradigm

A few weeks ago I was in the company of some former colleagues from my days as a union official. There were some people I was genuinely delighted to see. Years had passed and there were many questions about how I was now spending my time. I responded with passion and enthusiasm about the variety of things I'm working on, including leadership development for some big organisations. I was struck by the number of people who asked me outright, "Have you moved to the other side?"

The first time I was struck by the boldness of the question and could only manage a "no". After a few times, I started to react to the question with its inherent judgement and lack of curiosity. I pushed back.

"Why is leadership development perceived as being on the other side? What is the "other side" anyway?"

The answers were simplistic echoes of old class wars: you're supporting the bosses instead of the workers.

It was old-fashioned, limited thinking. I thought about the number of union members I'd talked to who had fallen victim to unskilled bosses and thought how much better it is for everyone if leaders in business are skilled in the business of leading their people. My response was met with a shrug.

People with locked in positions about workplace politics aren't limited to people working for trade unions.  In a recent conversation with senior leaders we were discussing what is within our control and considering where we focus our attention and energy. The group nodded and acknowledged the wisdom of understanding this. Then a member of the group said they hated the fact that they knew their team members would go "straight to the union" after particular conversations with them. I could see their frustration and feel the temperature in the group increase as others agreed.

I asked what bothered this leader about the actions of their people. They told me they had no control over how messages were conveyed to the union. I asked whether the team members were doing something wrong in talking to their union. The group agreed that there was nothing wrong with this. The frustration remained.


"What would happen if you acknowledged, out loud, the conversations that they would have with their union?" Uncomfortable shuffling ensued.

"What would happen if you facilitated that conversation somehow?" Angry eyes looked at me.

"After you speak to your team, how can you control who they speak to next? What they say?"

Further frustration boiled over: "We can't!" "We just have to accept it!" came the responses.

Exactly.

Imagine what might happen if the focus changed. Instead of directing energy in a negative way towards a futile goal (ie stopping people talking to each other), consider the power of accepting what is not within your control and instead directing energy in a positive way, for example facilitating or nurturing a relationship, starting a conversation.

It fascinates me that the people who are in the relationship of employer and union are often misguided about the nature of that relationship. Many probably would disagree with the concept that a relationship even exists. Even sworn enemies have a relationship with each other.

Where do you put your energy? Is it within your control? What would happen if you shifted your focus?

A case of the "yeah-buts"

I'm in the midst of another leadership conversation.  These conversations are one of my favourite things to do in a working day.  It's very satisfying to see people change their mindset and tackle some of the problems they have been ignoring or avoiding.

There's a syndrome that I've noticed.  It's pretty serious and will make a leader's job much harder if it takes hold.  It's even more dangerous when the leader is a carrier.

It's called "Yeah-buts".  Have you encountered it?  This syndrome can creep in where ever there is a lapse of vigilance.  It is easily recognised.  Consider this:  you are the leader needing to lead a change. You have carefully considered and developed your case for change and paid close attention to how you communicate this.  You've even thought about the kinds of questions that people may pose.  You finish your presentation.  Heads nod.  There is a beat of silence.  Then you hear this: "Yeah, that's all true, what we need to do, but...".

And there it is.

What follows "but" can usually be described as defensive as people make the case to protect themselves from the change they know needs to happen.

In the current conversation leaders were talking about people they lead as "trying to do the wrong thing".  When I asked them how they knew the people in their teams are trying to do the wrong thing I was told it's obvious.  I pointed out the difference between intention and behaviour and the fact that behaviour is visible and intention is not.  Intention can not be assumed; to discover it you need to ask questions.

As people complained about the people they lead, I suggested that these people are their responsibility..."yeah-but".  I suggested that if people flout basic requirements of the job repeatedly and even after conversation, then the leaders must be clear about consequences..."yeah-but".

See how dangerous this syndrome is!  When it takes hold, nothing can happen.

What happens if treatment is taken?  What could the treatment be?  My suggestion is to replace the word "but" with the word "and" whenever it is spoken after the word "yeah".  The phrase becomes "yes-and".

Start there.  Repeat as necessary.

I hope you're not suffering from the "yeah-buts".  If you are, start treatment now.

What's changed in two years?

Lately I've been noticing my reactions to situations and thinking about how differently I would have reacted two years ago.  As I contemplate that, I am grateful that the situations that cause me to think about this are happening now (when I am better equipped) and not two years ago.

For example, last week I was doing some work for a client in the building that I used to work in.  There are training and meeting rooms on one of the floors in the building so I go there fairly frequently.  Not long after I finished my full time employment, I had to visit this building for some work.  As I approached the building and contemplated going in, I had what I now know to be a panic attack - fast, shallow breathing, elevated heart rate, clammy sweat, hot flush of rash creeping up my neck and a feeling of general terror.  Four years have passed since then and I can now look back and read all the signals about what was going on at that workplace which I couldn't see at the time. Reflection point number one.

Last week as I walked into the building, one of the people with whom I used to work came out of the building.  She said hello and asked me what I was doing there. I responded with the facts, "I'm working with a client."

"Oh which client? What are you doing?"

"I'm working as an actress doing corporate roleplay for senior leadership development in one of the banks."

"You're kidding!?"  (Where is an interrobang when you need one?)

And there they hung, those words.

Most artists will know the common urging from people who aren't artists about it being time to get a real job.  It might be phrased as "your acting/art/music etc is wonderful, but can't you just have it as a hobby so you can go off and get a real job?"  The concern about the real job is usually strongly tethered to the need to earn money.

Two years ago I would have felt the panic rise in expectation of the impending judgement.  This time I didn't.  This is my work and I make a good living.

I said: "Actually I'm not kidding.  This is my work and I make a very good living out of it."

She reacted, quickly seeking to retract.  It was as if she suddenly realised what that statement actually could mean.

We both ended the conversation.  As I walked to the lift I contemplated my reaction.  I'm pleased that I was able to stand up, proudly, for my work and not allow it, and me, to be dismissed, but reading back on this, I wonder how I will come across.  There is more context to the relationship with this particular person that I'm not prepared to lay out here and I don't know whether it's relevant.

This is but one example.  I'm finding in the project I'm managing where I'm back in an office for a couple of days a week, that I'm being confronted with everything I don't like about that environment.  There is some good stuff too, but apart from the work itself, I'm being regularly confronted with the things that are challenging.

With another round of leadership development conversations coming up with another client (I'll be facilitating), it's timely that I am refreshing my experience in a hands-on leadership role.

I recently found myself needing to have an honest conversation with a member of the project team.  As I prepared for it, I could hear myself coaching myself from the sidelines.  A couple of years ago, my reaction and ability to handle that person would have been quite different.  I would have dealt with the situation, but I think it would have taken longer and the landing have been less comfortable.  For everyone.

The value of reflection is something that artists understand and practise  - it is essential to artistry and artistic process, regardless of the art form.  Lately, I'm hearing about reflection in the corporate setting and in medical training.  It makes me happy to see the wisdom of artists permeating other disciplines.  Lately, reflection has given me the opportunity to learn a lot about myself and my growth and how I'm going in my business (which is still less than two years' old.).  I was very pleased to notice that I'm better suited to consulting than being attached to one office and one organisation.  Thank goodness I made the right decision!

What have you reflected on lately? What are you noticing?

Ring in the New Year!

2011 is drawing to a close and I am feeling relaxed and content after a lovely celebration lunch with family at the Willow Tree Inn restaurant, Graze, situated halfway between Tamworth and Scone in country New South Wales.

My last meal for the year started with a chilled beetroot soup and sourdough roll to awaken my palate.  For entree I chose a twice cooked souffle of gruyere and caramelised onion.  My main meal was a beef rib cooked in a sticky chilli and black vinegar sauce.  The plan was to resist dessert, but then I saw the words "peanut butter bombe with caramel sauce and home made honeycomb" and the plan changed. An espresso saw me out the door.

It was a fitting meal actually.  2011 has been a year of transition, direction changes (hence my ability to quickly ditch a plan at the last minute), consolidation and finally, a positive trajectory.  These patterns define the years since 2008 and I feel that 2012 will be more focussed on consolidation, development and deepening. The first few months are already looking good.

Starting divacultura was a great step taken in 2011.  My initial impulse was to create and embed a daily writing habit, which has happened, but it's also enhanced my powers of observation and helped me develop my voice.  Creating a discipline around my creative practice was also a way for me to be productive during the times when other (paid) work was a bit quiet.  I call these troughs "mini retirements" and learning to value and use this time has been an important lesson in 2011.

Optimism and confidence are essential to well-being when self-employed.  I've always easily harnessed these traits and I've learnt their importance in creating the right "vibe" to attract people, work and opportunities to me.  I'll be continuing to cultivate these in 2012.

There will be more writing, more music and further development as a performer, perhaps with my own material, in the coming year.

My knitting resolution for the year is to tackle a really complicated lace pattern.  It's a technique that I haven't really practised much and it's time I did.  I will also find another charity to devote a month of knitting to as I did this year.

At the start of lunch with the family today I asked about resolutions and no one had any.  I was a bit surprised.  Everyone seemed too busy to have spent time in contemplation.  I don't approach the new year with resolutions, but rather a mindfulness about my intentions for living.  The same thing I guess, but they tend to be less prosaic if I think about them this way.  (Although "sort out the spare room" is still a work in progress which I do hope to achieve this year!)

(For more inspiration, you may like to visit my friend Rose's blog.  I love her idea of spending more time with the people who make her feel anything is possible.)

divacultura is not yet a year old, but the end of this year is still a milestone worth marking.  The top ten posts of 2011 are:

1. MYKI: it's your key to bureaucratic frustration
2. To knit or not - it's my choice
3. The love rug
4. Love in the letter box 
5. Beginnings (my very first post)
6. Taking to the streets of Melbourne
7. The rejection letter (companion piece to "Love in the letter box)
8. The glee of singing
9. Singing with the nuns
10. 4 inches of love

Are your favourites here?

Happy New Year from divacultura.  Thank you for reading in 2011!  I wonder what your intention is for 2012?