On my way home this evening I walked past the H & M store which opened in Melbourne's old GPO building in Bourke Street on Saturday. Until this week, I had never heard of H & M. Apparently they are a Swedish clothing retailer and we're supposed to be beside ourselves with excitement.
By the middle of last week, builders were putting the final touches to the building and installing red carpets, velvet ropes, spotlights and marquees. There was also a huge digital clock counting down the very seconds until our deprivation would be ended and Melbourne would have the only H & M store in Australia. I watched as two young women shooed the fifty-year old male security guard behind a pillar so they could take photographs of the front entry (before the store opened). A whippet thin, spray tanned PR blond standing nearby smirked as she tried to operate her phone with her stupidly long fake fingernails.
Since the opening on Saturday, people have been queuing for hours to gain entry. To a shop. That's right, people have been lining up for hours so they can go into a shop. If it was World War II and we were in Leningrad, then this might be appropriate if the shop was a bakery or supermarket, but it isn't. Presumably all of the merchandise inside the shop is only a click away from the comfort of bed if your ipad is handy. Amongst all the groaning about the demise of bricks and mortar retailers, the hype seems ridiculous.
On Saturday there was a DJ inside Flinders Street Station. That was nice, but it didn't inspire me to go and stand in a line for hours. Banners at Southern Cross Station told me that the moment I'd been waiting for had arrived!
I wonder what it's like inside and whether there are crowds of people and the restriction of numbers is just to keep the queue in place, with the double effect of scarcity and desirability sending the message that everyone needs to be there.
A quick look at their website suggests that it's Swedish Target or Big W. I suppose that's handy, but it's not enough for me to stand in a line for hours. I would have trouble doing this for the Leningrad Bakery, I'm certainly not doing it now.
The last time I queued was Expo 88 in Brisbane. The whole city learned how to queue for hours at Expo. It was so well-organised and there was passing entertainment, that you didn't mind. You knew that it was only going to be there for 6 months, so there was a now or never aspect to it. Word got out very quickly about what was worth queuing for and logically, the places that were worth the wait always had a wait. I haven't heard that H & M is a pop up shop and will be gone soon. I can just wait until the day I can just walk in the door. I expect to be as underwhelmed as I was when Zara opened at the other end of the mall.
I wonder how long the velvet ropes and security guards will last? Have you been to H & M? What's it like? What are you willing to queue for?
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Monday, 7 April 2014
Monday, 3 March 2014
What does the label say?
The other day I was drinking a 300ml bottle of sparkling mineral water. I'm a bit of a food label reader and since I've given up sugar, sparking mineral water makes a pleasant alternative to the juices and soft drinks which are usually on offer. The other dimension to my label reading lately is looking for where things are made and the origin of ingredients.
I noticed that the label said the ingredients were "Australian natural sparkling mineral water". When I turned the bottle around, the label said that this product was made from "local and imported ingredients". That was quite confusing. Some people suggested that it might be referring to the bottle or the label on the bottle. It seemed possible, but unlikely.
I decided to call Coca-Cola Amatil's consumer information line. I was presented with the usual raft of options to choose using the numbers on my keypad. I chose to speak to a consumer experience executive. I just wanted to see what they were like. In the meantime I noted that the web address included the words "live positively" and once there, the site explained their commitment to fighting obesity. As they sell sugar laden drinks.
Darren was initially confused about what I was asking and then realised that he had no answer. Refreshingly, he admitted this and said he would find out and call me back. Before we ended the call he gave me a reference number that was too long for me to write down anywhere. I didn't tell him that.
He called me back the next day with the news that there is an error on the label. I told him I was glad I'd called to bring to their attention the labelling problem. "Oh no, we've known about this for a while," came his reply.
That was the most interesting part of the conversation. I wondered about the organisation's commitment to truth in labelling and disclosure generally. I was surprised that one of the most brand aware organisations in the world was so lax about something like this. I'll be reading the labels very closely and seeing how long it takes to notice a change.
How quickly do you act to fix known problems? What message are small errors sending to your customers about your business?
I noticed that the label said the ingredients were "Australian natural sparkling mineral water". When I turned the bottle around, the label said that this product was made from "local and imported ingredients". That was quite confusing. Some people suggested that it might be referring to the bottle or the label on the bottle. It seemed possible, but unlikely.
I decided to call Coca-Cola Amatil's consumer information line. I was presented with the usual raft of options to choose using the numbers on my keypad. I chose to speak to a consumer experience executive. I just wanted to see what they were like. In the meantime I noted that the web address included the words "live positively" and once there, the site explained their commitment to fighting obesity. As they sell sugar laden drinks.
Darren was initially confused about what I was asking and then realised that he had no answer. Refreshingly, he admitted this and said he would find out and call me back. Before we ended the call he gave me a reference number that was too long for me to write down anywhere. I didn't tell him that.
He called me back the next day with the news that there is an error on the label. I told him I was glad I'd called to bring to their attention the labelling problem. "Oh no, we've known about this for a while," came his reply.
That was the most interesting part of the conversation. I wondered about the organisation's commitment to truth in labelling and disclosure generally. I was surprised that one of the most brand aware organisations in the world was so lax about something like this. I'll be reading the labels very closely and seeing how long it takes to notice a change.
How quickly do you act to fix known problems? What message are small errors sending to your customers about your business?
Friday, 21 February 2014
Food samples and brand promotions
Sometimes food and drink is given away at train stations in Melbourne. Mostly, it's a way for companies to promote new products. Usually the products they are throwing at the public are sugar laden and therefore not anything I eat.
Yesterday, frozen pizzas were being handed out. It was fascinating to watch.
Very good looking people dressed in either very revealing clothing or something suggestive of scientific - or a combination of these (think very short lab coats) - smile at people and call out the brand name repeatedly. Before long, commuters are making their way to these very good looking people and clamouring for whatever is on offer.
If standing and watching this procedure was my first glimpse of Melbourne I would have thought that people who live here are reliant on UN food parcels for survival. It was like a flock of seagulls descending on a lonely dropped chip. No orderly queues to be seen here, just people on automatic pilot, lured by the promise of free fat and sugar, forgetting that it's actually advertising and a ploy to secure their money and loyalty down the track.
I wondered whether any homeless people would benefit from this commercial magnanimity but then realised the cruel twist of fate attached: frozen pizza is only edible if you can heat it in an oven first.
As I walked away, I saw a man wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "i Rock" emblazoned on his chest. Looking at him, I was unconvinced that he did in fact rock, but then looks can be deceiving. I wondered whether it was his looks he was railing against; that he'd had so many accusations that he did not rock, that he had hired a PR consultant and gone on the front foot with a declaration of his rockiness. Or perhaps he was trying to convince himself. Or, he was being completely ironic. Or he was making up for a lack of positive reinforcement from his parents during his adolescence. Or it might have been a statement of competency in his day job as a babysitter. Or he's a narcissist.
It struck me that the whole world is busy with image management.
I travelled home, without a frozen pizza melting in my handbag, and thought about the pleasure of making good food.
Yesterday, frozen pizzas were being handed out. It was fascinating to watch.
Very good looking people dressed in either very revealing clothing or something suggestive of scientific - or a combination of these (think very short lab coats) - smile at people and call out the brand name repeatedly. Before long, commuters are making their way to these very good looking people and clamouring for whatever is on offer.
If standing and watching this procedure was my first glimpse of Melbourne I would have thought that people who live here are reliant on UN food parcels for survival. It was like a flock of seagulls descending on a lonely dropped chip. No orderly queues to be seen here, just people on automatic pilot, lured by the promise of free fat and sugar, forgetting that it's actually advertising and a ploy to secure their money and loyalty down the track.
I wondered whether any homeless people would benefit from this commercial magnanimity but then realised the cruel twist of fate attached: frozen pizza is only edible if you can heat it in an oven first.
As I walked away, I saw a man wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "i Rock" emblazoned on his chest. Looking at him, I was unconvinced that he did in fact rock, but then looks can be deceiving. I wondered whether it was his looks he was railing against; that he'd had so many accusations that he did not rock, that he had hired a PR consultant and gone on the front foot with a declaration of his rockiness. Or perhaps he was trying to convince himself. Or, he was being completely ironic. Or he was making up for a lack of positive reinforcement from his parents during his adolescence. Or it might have been a statement of competency in his day job as a babysitter. Or he's a narcissist.
It struck me that the whole world is busy with image management.
I travelled home, without a frozen pizza melting in my handbag, and thought about the pleasure of making good food.
Monday, 20 May 2013
Ten questions for today.
1) Is advertising on hand dryers in public toilets effective?
2) Who ever uses a full bottle of nail polish?
3) Why does it rain whenever I have my hair blow waved?
4) Why can't people follow the instructions for recycling?
5) What is unclear about a sign that says "No Junk Mail"?
6) Why do people insist that you "need some sugar" when you tell them you don't eat sugar?
7) Why do businesses refuse to deliver to post office boxes?
8) Where do those text messages telling you you've won "a million pounds" come from?
9) Why, in the digital age, does it still take 3 business days for a cheque to clear?
10) What do visitors to Melbourne think when they can't top up their myki and they discover there are no toilets available at the station?
Answers to these questions are welcome.
What questions are you asking today?
2) Who ever uses a full bottle of nail polish?
3) Why does it rain whenever I have my hair blow waved?
4) Why can't people follow the instructions for recycling?
5) What is unclear about a sign that says "No Junk Mail"?
6) Why do people insist that you "need some sugar" when you tell them you don't eat sugar?
7) Why do businesses refuse to deliver to post office boxes?
8) Where do those text messages telling you you've won "a million pounds" come from?
9) Why, in the digital age, does it still take 3 business days for a cheque to clear?
10) What do visitors to Melbourne think when they can't top up their myki and they discover there are no toilets available at the station?
Answers to these questions are welcome.
What questions are you asking today?
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
A better class of bottom - euphemism gone wild
This week I'm spending time in the office. I spent a few days there at the end of last year, but that's a foggy memory after over a month off. It's funny what you notice when you're being super observant.
Today I noticed, and contemplated, the toilet paper in the women's toilets. Here's why:
We don't just have toilet paper. No bog roll for us! No! We have "executive toilet tissue". Wow. This is an extension of euphemism into an area already well-populated. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but if I don't spend too much time thinking about it, I believe it means that my bottom is elevated to executive status when I'm at work. I went to the loo several times during the day. I didn't "borrow" a roll to bring home so that I can also be executive at home. I just have plain old toilet paper at home.
Honestly! What does this mean? The quality is nothing special - I don't think it's even 2 ply. It doesn't quite dissolve on contact, but...I'll leave that thought with you. It's not quite sand paper, but...and that one.
The other benefit of going to the office every day is that I get to observe people on public transport, which you know is one of my favourite things to do.
Travelling on the tram from the office to Flinders Street today we had the company of a rather animated fellow. At first I thought it was someone engaged in IMC, or Inappropriate Mobile Conversation. He was yelling at someone called Wayne telling him, repeatedly, that he, Wayne, would not be paid. Ever. Then there was an emphatic statement about the need for no more laminating - "there will be no more laminating". I pictured the hapless Wayne working in some dungeon somewhere doing repetitive collation tasks and filling staplers for so long he had been driven to compulsive lamination.
When the subject abruptly changed to the speed of tram travel and the availability of myki public transport tickets and the volume rose to a shout, I looked around. I saw a man without a mobile phone speaking directly into his myki card. He was clearly on another plane from the rest of us.
So tomorrow I shall take my mantra of "no more laminating" to the office and give thanks for the executive toilet tissue.
Today I noticed, and contemplated, the toilet paper in the women's toilets. Here's why:
 |
| Executive toilet tissue © divacultura 2013 |
Honestly! What does this mean? The quality is nothing special - I don't think it's even 2 ply. It doesn't quite dissolve on contact, but...I'll leave that thought with you. It's not quite sand paper, but...and that one.
The other benefit of going to the office every day is that I get to observe people on public transport, which you know is one of my favourite things to do.
Travelling on the tram from the office to Flinders Street today we had the company of a rather animated fellow. At first I thought it was someone engaged in IMC, or Inappropriate Mobile Conversation. He was yelling at someone called Wayne telling him, repeatedly, that he, Wayne, would not be paid. Ever. Then there was an emphatic statement about the need for no more laminating - "there will be no more laminating". I pictured the hapless Wayne working in some dungeon somewhere doing repetitive collation tasks and filling staplers for so long he had been driven to compulsive lamination.
When the subject abruptly changed to the speed of tram travel and the availability of myki public transport tickets and the volume rose to a shout, I looked around. I saw a man without a mobile phone speaking directly into his myki card. He was clearly on another plane from the rest of us.
So tomorrow I shall take my mantra of "no more laminating" to the office and give thanks for the executive toilet tissue.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
What are they flogging: how to tell if you're in regional Australia
Visiting Shepparton this week allowed me to sample the local television ads. It's one of the things that I notice as a place marker in this increasingly monocultural world and I always like to take a look. Of course, while I was doing this, I also noticed some other things about television ads that are currently playing. Generally, I'm a watcher of the ABC and so don't see many ads, but there are two shows that I'm currently watching on commercial television: The Voice on Channel 9 and Downton Abbey on Channel 7.
If you turn on the television and see someone who is clearly the business owner rather than an actor, you know you're in regional Australia. Vin may be the world's greatest pest controller, but does that mean he makes for great TV? No it doesn't. Vin should stick to hunting down cockroaches and torturing mice. Sometimes, you won't see the business owner in the ad, you'll hear them instead. I do occasional voice-over work so I know what we cost, but I also know that we're sooooo worth it! There is an art to doing voice-over, just as there is an art to lubricating a car engine. How about we respect each other's skills and stick to what we're great at?
If you're not sure where you are, turn on the television and put it on a commerical channel. What's being advertised? If it's sheep dip and herbicide you're in farming and grazing territory. If there's an actual farmer running his (for he's always a bloke) hands through the dirt or the fleece on the sheep's back, then double your chances you're in regional Australia. And double the distance you are from a capital city.
I first noticed this phenomenon when I was at boarding school in Toowoomba. There was an ad for fertiliser to help your sunflower crop along. It featured an animated sunflower which uttered a groan as it shrivelled and died before our very eyes. The voice-over man gravely warned us that we could avoid this happening to our sunflower crops. Although I didn't have then, haven't had since, don't have now and probably won't have in the future, a sunflower crop, I remember this ad vividly. I think it was the humour. After we heard the sound of a dying sunflower, the voice-over man's script required him to say, "Let's hear that again", forcing us to relive the terrible sounds of a dying sunflower. Imagine if you had a whole paddack of dying sunflowers? The sound would be deafening. And hilarious. Unfortunately, while I remember the ad, I don't remember the product. What will I do if I ever do grow sunflowers? How will I save them from certain death?
Sheep suffering from all kinds of unimaginable afflictions also made strange sounds in television ads.
Unlikely copy writing in television ads is another clue that you're in regional Australia. This one can be tricky though - it could also mean it's 1 o'clock on Saturday morning and you know you'll regret opening that second bottle of red wine. A prime example I noticed this week was "Grouse Grout". It even had a jingle. Grout isn't usually front of my mind. If I was in a situation where I was required to think about grout I'm not sure that "grouse" would be in my top ten list of Essential Grout Qualities. But what would I know? Nothing. About grout. Anyway.
Along with locally produced ads, a smattering of other ads was also screened. Two stood out: KFC's campaign about canola oil and Proactiv's pitch to teenage boys.
KFC's latest pitch hinges on the "word" 'goodification'. Blah. It's so horrible that they have an explanatory clip on You Tube. Years of poor teaching of grammar is clearly paying dividends now as the generation of kids who were taught on the basis of "it doesn't matter how you spell it as long as everyone understands what you mean" grow up and start working for ad agencies. That's all I have to say about that one.
Proactiv is a skin care brand aimed at acne afflicted teenagers. Usually they target girls, so it was refreshing to see the pitch to the fellas. It featured a BMX bike riding star. He talked about how he likes bumps on a BMX track, but not when they're on his face. Talk about bumpy scripting! He talked about how his acne made him feel. I was right there with him until he told me that his acne was affecting his BMX racing. Seriously.
There was a time when ads were great. They had great jingles or were funny or were memorable for good reasons. Can't think of any right now.
What ads have you noticed lately? Do have a favourite ad? Or what's the one that makes you yell at the television?
If you turn on the television and see someone who is clearly the business owner rather than an actor, you know you're in regional Australia. Vin may be the world's greatest pest controller, but does that mean he makes for great TV? No it doesn't. Vin should stick to hunting down cockroaches and torturing mice. Sometimes, you won't see the business owner in the ad, you'll hear them instead. I do occasional voice-over work so I know what we cost, but I also know that we're sooooo worth it! There is an art to doing voice-over, just as there is an art to lubricating a car engine. How about we respect each other's skills and stick to what we're great at?
If you're not sure where you are, turn on the television and put it on a commerical channel. What's being advertised? If it's sheep dip and herbicide you're in farming and grazing territory. If there's an actual farmer running his (for he's always a bloke) hands through the dirt or the fleece on the sheep's back, then double your chances you're in regional Australia. And double the distance you are from a capital city.
I first noticed this phenomenon when I was at boarding school in Toowoomba. There was an ad for fertiliser to help your sunflower crop along. It featured an animated sunflower which uttered a groan as it shrivelled and died before our very eyes. The voice-over man gravely warned us that we could avoid this happening to our sunflower crops. Although I didn't have then, haven't had since, don't have now and probably won't have in the future, a sunflower crop, I remember this ad vividly. I think it was the humour. After we heard the sound of a dying sunflower, the voice-over man's script required him to say, "Let's hear that again", forcing us to relive the terrible sounds of a dying sunflower. Imagine if you had a whole paddack of dying sunflowers? The sound would be deafening. And hilarious. Unfortunately, while I remember the ad, I don't remember the product. What will I do if I ever do grow sunflowers? How will I save them from certain death?
Sheep suffering from all kinds of unimaginable afflictions also made strange sounds in television ads.
Unlikely copy writing in television ads is another clue that you're in regional Australia. This one can be tricky though - it could also mean it's 1 o'clock on Saturday morning and you know you'll regret opening that second bottle of red wine. A prime example I noticed this week was "Grouse Grout". It even had a jingle. Grout isn't usually front of my mind. If I was in a situation where I was required to think about grout I'm not sure that "grouse" would be in my top ten list of Essential Grout Qualities. But what would I know? Nothing. About grout. Anyway.
Along with locally produced ads, a smattering of other ads was also screened. Two stood out: KFC's campaign about canola oil and Proactiv's pitch to teenage boys.
KFC's latest pitch hinges on the "word" 'goodification'. Blah. It's so horrible that they have an explanatory clip on You Tube. Years of poor teaching of grammar is clearly paying dividends now as the generation of kids who were taught on the basis of "it doesn't matter how you spell it as long as everyone understands what you mean" grow up and start working for ad agencies. That's all I have to say about that one.
Proactiv is a skin care brand aimed at acne afflicted teenagers. Usually they target girls, so it was refreshing to see the pitch to the fellas. It featured a BMX bike riding star. He talked about how he likes bumps on a BMX track, but not when they're on his face. Talk about bumpy scripting! He talked about how his acne made him feel. I was right there with him until he told me that his acne was affecting his BMX racing. Seriously.
There was a time when ads were great. They had great jingles or were funny or were memorable for good reasons. Can't think of any right now.
What ads have you noticed lately? Do have a favourite ad? Or what's the one that makes you yell at the television?
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