Good deed day.

I felt myself becoming impatient with the doddering woman in front of me at the supermarket checkout. I had chosen the checkout based on it only having this woman to go through ahead of me with her small number of items. The self-service lanes were full and there was a long queue and I had one too many items for the express lane.

The cashier was efficient and friendly but the woman needed to get some cash out and seemed to have stepped directly from 1974 - a time before plastic money was available with just a swipe, wave or press of a button. E v e n t u a l l y the woman withdrew her cash and was finished. I was next.

The cashier asked me to wait one moment while she changed the receipt paper in the cash register. At this point I relaxed. If I had chosen a different egress I would probably not be any further advanced.

When the cashier came back she noticed that the woman who had withdrawn the cash had walked away without taking her purchases. A quick look around didn't reveal her, but she was slow moving and I was pretty sure she would still be somewhere nearby. I paid and said that I would let her know if I saw her on my way out.

There she was, clad in her black puffer jacket, gazing in the window at the butcher's meat display. At least, I hoped it was her as I approached.

"Excuse me," I said to gain her attention.

She looked up immediately, confused and frightened.

"I think you were ahead of me at the Woolworths checkout?"

She nodded yes.

"Well you left your shopping behind."

"Oh! I'm always doing that! Aren't you a darling for finding me!"

"I'm so pleased I did. It would be awful to arrive home without your purchases. It's at the last checkout, on the end," I added, worried that she wouldn't remember where she had been. I pointed her in the direction.

Off she doddered in the general direction of the supermarket. I was nearly going to go with her to make sure she arrived, but I didn't want to impose.

I suppose this is what is called a "good deed". It cost me nothing to help this woman and I know that a few minutes of my time saved this woman money and worry. Ironically, if I hadn't been willing her to hurry up at the check out, I may not have registered enough details to be able to find her again!

I hope a kind soul does the same for me one day when I'm doddering and absent-minded.

What was your last good deed?

Tears flowing over the news

I've just spent the last half an hour in tears. No, it wasn't the latest add for tissues or nappies. I was watching the hard current affairs show, 7:30 on the ABC.

Firstly, there was the story of the Sri Lankan refugee who committed suicide this week by setting himself on fire. He left his homeland at the age of six and spent years in a refugee camp in India. He was now living in Geelong on a bridging visa, but was highly anxious about the prospect of what would happen to him if he was sent back to Sri Lanka. This man was 29 years old. I feel so sad that he made it this far and then must have been so traumatised by his past that he could not cope with his anxiety. So sad.

Read more.

Then there was the story of Dennis "Ned" Kelly, a veteran of D-Day, visiting the French village who gave him safe harbour after he had to bail out of his plane. I highly recommend watching this story. Against the backdrop of Australia's hard, hard heart shown to people seeking help and safety, watching this tale of villagers risking their lives to protect the life of an Australian pilot, is extremely moving. How wonderful that he is able to visit these people now and even meet the daughter of Collette, the woman who visited him and talked to him while he was being hidden in a lock keeper's house. He said they talked for hours, even though he couldn't understand her and she couldn't understand him, they found companionship. Extraordinary.

What made you cry today?

Public embarrassment - staging an underwear show

Mortification doesn't begin to cover the feeling I had when I walked back into the room where I had been working all day with a colleague.

I had just returned from a visit to the lavatory and walked back into the room saying that I wouldn't mind working in the space again.  The room was just the right size with a wall of big windows.  It was conducive to thinking, writing and being creative.

I pulled the chair out to sit down, smoothed my dress at the back in readiness for sitting and it was then that the moritifcation occurred.  My dress was tucked up into my stockings and knickers at the back!  I had walked the length of a corridor in this state!  I immediately blushed, then cringed, then looked accusingly at my colleague - had he seen?  how much had he seen?  why hadn't he said anything?  Oh god!

He was looking at me, clearly registering that there was something wrong.  So I told him: "My dress is tucked into my knickers! How long has it been like that?  Did I go to lunch like that?" (I'd been to the lavatory just before lunch too.)

Smirking turned into a wide grin as he shook his head.

"No it wasn't like that at lunch."  He went into a reverie.  "I do remember the time I was following a woman who had toilet paper trailing out the back of her pants."  He laughed.

"Did you tell her?"

"No.  I didn't."

He didn't!  How could I trust him in this situation?  Surely after all these weeks of working and travelling together our relationship was such that he would have said something.  Surely.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in a state of nervous paranoia, compulsively smoothing the back of my dress and adjusting my underwear.

The first thing I did when I arrived home was tuck my dress into my knickers to see how bad it would have looked.  I wanted to know what others had seen as I walked the length of that (very long) corridor.  With black stockings, black knickers and a black dress, it didn't look too bad.  Perhaps that's why no one said anything.

I would always let someone know if their dress was tucked up or their fly was undone or they had toilet paper trailing.  I once told my boss her dress was on inside out when she arrived at work.  That's one of those random acts of kindness I reckon.  It's about having and showing empathy.

Tomorrow I'll find the whole thing hilarious and see how I can exploit the story for entertainment.  Until then, I'm off to look at my rear view in the mirror.  Again.

Do you tell strangers embarrassing things they need to know?  Or do you let them walk around in blissful oblivion? What would you prefer?

Random act of kindness

Travelling home on the train last night, I had a coughing fit.  I'd spent the day facilitating in a room with a very dry atmosphere.  I drank a lot of water during the day, but it obviously was not enough.  After I left the building, I had to walk about fifteen minutes to the train station in the cold air.  By the time I boarded the train, my throat and mouth were feeling dry and ticklish.

About two minutes into the train journey, I had that ticklish feeling in my throat that was telling me to cough.  I also had that feeling that if I started  I wouldn't be able to stop.  I tried swallowing.  I tried breathing, but that made it worse.  Soon I was in the throes of coughing and being unable to stop.

I couldn't get my breath.  I could feel my face was hot and probably red.  People sitting nearby started to shuffle.  They started to look sideways at me.  I even caught a couple of glares.  I had my mouth covered while I rummaged in my handbag to find a tissue.  It wasn't as if I was coughing on people; but the coughing was becoming more and more violent.

Soon I was able to arrest the coughing.  I sat trying to recover and catch my breath.  I did catch my breath and the coughing started again.  It was awful.  I felt out of control, helpless.

I felt a hand tap me on the shoulder and turned towards it.  There was a woman sitting behind me.  She asked me if I was okay and offered me some cough lozenges.  I was already sucking one of those so I said no to the lozenge but thanked her for her consideration.  I really liked the fact that she had been able to step away from the dominant culture in that train carriage which was to mind your own business.  As well as thanking her, I managed to let her know that I was okay and was just fighting a "tickle" that seemed to be irritated every time I inhaled.

I was so grateful to her.  Before she reached out to me, I had wondered how I would get anyone's attention if I really needed it.  Most people seemed to be plugged in and tuned out.  I hope that if I was in serious distress, someone who could see me would have come to my aid before things careened off track.

The gesture offered by that woman, was a random act of kindness and I really appreciated it.

What random act of kindness did you perform today?  Perhaps you were the recipient of a random act of kindness.  What did someone do for you today?

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I'm passing some kindness on to Australian based readers of divacultura.  I'm offering the opportunity to win one of three double passes to see the film "Hysteria", courtesy of Hopscotch Films.  Details of how to win are in this post.  Entries close Friday.