Friday, 16 August 2013

Hotel room rule book

My hotel room is fine, albeit full of strange requests, directions and statements.  For example, in the bathroom, hanging on a hook, is a laminated photograph of a hairdryer which includes the following statement: "FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE A HAIRDRYER IS LOCATED IN THE 2ND DRAWER OF THE DESK".

I'm confused about a few things.  How is it convenient to put the hairdryer in the desk?  Where the hell is the desk anyway? Why is it in the 2nd drawer?  What's wrong with the top drawer or the bottom drawer? Why is there a special hook on which to hang this laminated card when the hook would be the perfect place to put the actual hairdryer?Why does the hairdryer need photo identification?

All of these questions are unanswerable.

Then there is a sign that hangs over the doorknob which declares itself to be "your green card for the environment".  It contains six points, mainly about linen choreography (where to put the towels if you don't want them washed, or if you do want them washed, what to do if you don't want the sheets changed), and a stray instruction to turn the television and lights OFF when you leave the room, before we discover point five:

5. Please be aware that excessive steam build up in your bathroom may activate smoke detectors in your room.   Your co-operation on this matter is greatly appreciated.  

Cooperation is something that I am happy to do where I can, but I'm  confused by this statement.  The only way it can be understood is that it is a request for steam build up to be created.  I washed my hair this morning, but couldn't get the smoke detectors to go off.  The only thing that did happen was the shower wouldn't drain.

Finally, point six on the card is a charming reminder that I'm in the tropics:

6. During your stay in tropical Darwin, you may encounter small insects and ants in your room.       Climatic conditions make them very difficult to eradicate totally.

Now I'm nervous about the other creatures which may find their way in, but relieved to read the fine print on the card.  I am advised that I can call the manager on extension 9 for further clarification.  If I had more energy that might be entertaining.  Instead I'm off to build up excessive steam in the bathroom.

1 comment:

  1. You make me laugh. Hey! And now I can put a face and actual facial expressions to your witty observations. Wonderful to meet you, Miss Diva Culture after typing to one another for years :)