Sunday, 2 October 2011

Love in the letter box.

I received a heartfelt proposal this morning.  It came by email and was a pitch to form a meaningful relationship. I've decided to disregard the fact that it came from a woman in Poland and consider it instead on a human level.

It starts "Hello Mr!" A rather formal beginning for a love letter (especially since I'm a woman) but we don't really know each other yet, so I'm prepared to say "hello" right back.

"I understand that this letter will be a surprise for you." This shows she has empathy.

"I shall explain to you." She's prepared to give me details and take the time to explain.  I'm prepared to listen.

"I asked the agency to find a man for a serious relationship." She's being honest about her situation.  A good start for any relationship.  Wonder how much she's paying this agency?

"They gave me his email address." There's somebody else?

"And so I write." I think this email is the email she's referring to. Not sure where they got the intel that I'm a man...must update my records.  In the meantime, I'll keep an open mind.

"My name is Diana."  Nice name - means the "huntress".

"I am 27 years old." A younger woman.

"I was born in Poland." We all have to be born somewhere.

"But now I live in London." She give no insight as to whether this is a good thing.  The use of the word "but" suggests that she may have fled in unhappy circumstances and misses her homeland.  Dreadfully.

"I am a lawyer."  Oh well.

"I like my job, it gives me confidence in myself."  Good for you Diana.  It must be hard to be a lawyer if you're not confident.

"I am very sociable girl." Clearly.

"My friends say about me that sometimes I talk too much." Maybe this is why she left Poland.

"But I love to communicate."  She might be a Gemini - with my Gemini ascendant, this could be a good match.

"And do not see anything wrong with that." What is wrong with that?

"I also love to read books I've read all the books of Stephen King." I love to read too, but have not read all the books of Stephen King.  I would advise Diana to pay attention to Steve's syntax, it will help with her own written communication.

"Every day I go play tennis and golf." She must be very busy, what with the lawyering and communicating and Stephen King books, now there's tennis and golf?  Every day?  I'm starting to wonder whether Diana would have time for a relationship with me.

"My height 178cm." I don't think I can be with a woman who is taller than me.

"My weight 54 kg." Too skinny.

"My eye color - brown."  Something else we have in common.  Mental note - does she only have one eye?

"My hair color- light brown." Yep, just like my hair is red.  What woman has their own hair colour anymore?

"I had a long relationship with a man." Me too.  Hope it wasn't the same man.

"We have been together for over 4 years."  She needs to really look at the syntax - it sounds like they're still together.  Yet she's making this proposal to me.  What kind of person is Diana, really?

"But he drank a lot and very deceiving me." I'm not sure what this all means, but it sounds bad.

"I did not want such a relationship and we broke up." You go girl.

"I want a man in whose eyes I see the sincerity and honesty."  I've got the eyes, but not the bits.

"I need a responsible man." Don't we all?  Why are you asking me, I'll take the first one I find.  She's not getting him.

"Now you know a little about me." A very little, but more than you might think.

"If you are interested please contact me on my personal e-mail." It's so impersonal.

"Here is my email address ......." Funny how that address is different from the one listed as the address of the sender of this email.

"I'll have a vacation in 3 weeks." Good for her.

"And I plan to visit Australia." This sounds like a threat.

"I never was in this country."  Sounds like denial to me.  Guilty conscience?

"And it is interesting to me to know all about Australia." The Lonely Planet guides are great.

"I would love to see your letter." I bet you would Diana.  I've never heard the word letter used to mean that before.  It's a bit soon to be showing you my letter!

"Please tell me about yourself." Well, I'm actually a man who was born in Poland....

"Your work, interests?" It interests very much.

"I'm curious to know all about you." Me too!

"With the best regards."  Generous - nothing but the best for me!

"Diana".  I think my spam detector was right.

Oh well.

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