Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Mysteries of modern life

Where does the packet with the staples go?  I can never find it when I need to refill my stapler.  Even the smallest packet has 1000 staples.  How many staples can I expect to need in a lifetime?

What am I supposed to do with all the boxes for computers and the associated paraphernalia?  Why do I have to keep them?  (apart from because the warranty says I have to - I think this is a practical joke played by computer manufacturers.)  At least I can live in them if I ever become homeless.

Why does someone need to tear my ticket when I go to the cinema or the theatre?  It has the show and the date printed on it, as well as the venue.  If tearing a ticket is some kind of security measure, I'm really pleased these people aren't in charge of national security.

How did we live before they started putting those little stickers on fruit?  And why are they only on some kinds of fruit and not others?  I suppose the next step will see them on individual strawberries, grapes and blueberries.

Why are pads of post-it notes designed so that the last couple in the deck are never going to stick?  The backing falls off, they get all manky and end up going in the bin.  They should change the label to say there are 47 post-it notes in a packet.  Everyone knows the last 3 are unusable

Who buys pens anymore?  Why do I buy pens anymore?  I get free pens all the time.  Pens arrive at my front door in formation.  Oh, and why do free pens never work for more than a week.

Why are there five opened packets of frozen peas in the freezer at any given time, each with about a dozen peas inside?

Where did all those electronic cables come from?  Cameras, phones, printers, scanners, speakers....and why do none of them fit or work or connect to anything else that I have in my house?  Maybe I'll sculpt with them.

How do you keep the top of the fridge clean?  Or that skinny little crack between the stove and the bench?  Does anyone know how?  Will I be judged on these things?

Why does the last cough lolly in a packet always get forgotten about and eventually seep into the lining of your handbag?

Does anyone ever use any of the buttons that come in the tiny packet when they buy clothes?  Can you find them when you need them?  Where the hell do you keep them in the meantime?  I need to devote an entire drawer to buttons!

Why am I thinking about these things?  I just got to thinking.  What do you think?


  1. So true, the staples, the peas and aargh the packets of buttons breeding in my drawers, in jars, bottom of my sewing basket - just in case! How am I ever to declutter while anguishing over whether this will be the one time i'll need that button, a sequin and bit of wool...on the shelf it goes...sigh...

  2. So it's not just me!
    There's more: the packet of 3 rubber gloves that you can buy so you have a spare when one of them dies. Where is the third one? There must be a stash of single rubber gloves somewhere in my house. I don't know where.

  3. They tear the tickets so people won't go out carrying tickets which have already been used to get someone in and then re-use those tickets to get more people in.

    I have used spare buttons when I have lost one, but usually only when they have been sewn onto the bottom of the shirt.

    I know this is an old post and a late comment, but I've just found your blog and have enjoyed lots of it.

  4. Welcome marcellous. Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you're enjoying what you find here.