Before that, I was on a tram. The tram was very crowded. As I sat, travelling along, my phone rang. Just as I answered it, the tram driver asked everyone to stand back from the doors. That tram was like a sardine can. There was no stepping back from anywhere. There was a woman right in front of the doors with a baby in one of those old-fashioned prams that take up an entire city block. She wasn't stepping back from any doors. That tram must have had the only PA system that was working - if by working you mean announcements were louder than a thrash metal concert. In the space of a ten minute tram journey, the driver made about five announcements. The person who had rung me offered to throttle the driver.
Before that, a colleague asked me to look at a bowl of something in the fridge. It was a white bowl and covered in plastic wrap. The contents looked like tomato sauce, but lumpy. I felt sick and walked away. It looked like offal.
Before that, I was sitting at my desk. The desk is one of many I occupy on a regular basis. I don't have an exclusive desk. I "hot desk". Colleagues in the office recognise me by the sound of my wheels on the carpet as I move in for the day.
Before that, the N'Espresso machine in the tea room spluttered out the last bit of milk. I didn't know where the "fresh milk cannisters" were kept and there was no one to ask, so I decided I would have a macchiato.
Before that I awoke to find no milk in the house so had breakfast on the run. I'd ordered what I call a breakfast tortilla - a tortilla with bacon and eggs wrapped inside. The girl who handed it to me told me what it was to confirm the order with these words: "ingri blekky lap". I had no idea what she had said. The first time was because I didn't hear her. After the sixth request for her to repeat herself, I understood she was handing me an English Brekky Wrap. Thank GOD. If she hadn't told me what it was, I could have been eating anything for breakfast.
It's been a long day, but looks better when considered backwards.
How was your day?