Thursday, 7 November 2013

Creature feature - from the bottom of the toilet

HELLO! I've had a little journey. First for work and then to celebrate my birthday (Halloween) with family in the country. Long days of work and then other things to pay attention to, meant that I haven't been here.  Back and refreshed now!

On arrival home at about 9:30pm, after I put my bags down and turned the hot water service back on (I turn it off when I'm away to save electricity), I visited the toilet.  When I lifted the lid, there was a critter in there! A long critter; a spiny critter; a critter with more than four or eight legs. It had antennae too.

I stared at it, trying to ascertain whether it was alive or dead. I'd never seen anything like it before, so I had no way of knowing. It seemed to be moving, but that could have been the water making it move.  For my homecoming, I had not planned to find myself starring in my very own creature feature.

I'd been away for over a week, so I knew it hadn't come out of me!

Images of horror ran through my mind.

The creature was activated by the light let in when I opened the lid, growing enormously as it emerged from the toilet bowl and devoured me whole.

If I sat, I risked the creature finding its way to my brain via a lower orifice. It would control me. From the outside I would look the same, but there would be a flash of something in my eyes that people would think they saw, but wouldn't be sure.

What if I flushed and it was still there? What if it wasn't really there and I was imagining it? What if I looked in the mirror and saw it standing behind me?

I looked more closely. Maybe it wasn't organic! It might be some kind of high tech wizardry, made to look organic, but actually it was a literal bug...but what a strange place to put it? It would be hard to hear my conversations from the bottom of the loo. I don't really have many conversations there. Maybe it was a government surveillance device, designed to assess my diet or see whether I was being affected by some secret chemical they are covertly putting in the water.

Taking a breath, I decided that it was just a strange thing that had somehow crawled through or been washed through and landed in my pristine toilet bowl. I sat. Very focussed on whether I could feel any creepy crawly sensations. There were none. I tried to see if it was still there before I flushed, but the view was, ahem, obscured.

I paused. Had one of my freaky imaginings come true?


I flushed.

As the creature surfed his way back to the sewers, I imagined that he would join the secret colony of sewer creatures. Maybe he was an advance guard, doing reconnaissance to find a new home. What if he came back? With his whole family?

I lowered the lid, turned off the light and closed the door.

Was that a sound I heard? Why was I suddenly itchy? ...

Have you ever found a creature at the bottom of the toilet? What was it? 

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