Sucked into the call centre vortex

Every two years I have a conversation that I swear never to have again. I had it again yesterday. My mobile phone provider offered me the chance to upgrade my phone and get a better deal. Great, I thought. It will be okay. They've had two years to act on the feedback from the last delivery debacle. Oh, wait, that's what I said to myself two years ago.

The phone and the plan are both great. All the details were quickly sorted out. Then came the dreaded question: "What the is the address for delivery?"

I held my breath and gave my GPO Box which I rent from Australia Post and is completely secure.

The predictable reply came. "I'm sorry we do not deliver to post office boxes. You need to give me your home address."

I inhaled through gritted teeth and prepared to give the standard explanation.

"Who does the deliveries?" I asked.

"Australia Post," came the reply.

"My post office box is an Australia Post box. The parcel will be delivered and signed for by counter staff. You will give me a tracking number, so we will know where the parcel is at all times. A card will be placed in my post office box. I will open my post office box, discover the card and take it to the staff at the counter. The staff will locate the parcel, check my ID, scan it and ask me to sign. They will then give me the parcel. What is the security risk?"

"We don't deliver to post office boxes because they are not secure."

"Please explain to me what happens if you try to deliver to a physical address and I am not there to collect it."

"We will attempt delivery. If you are not there to receive the parcel a card will be left on your front door, and the parcel will be taken to the nearest post office," he explained.

"What happens then?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"You will need to take the card to the post office, hand it over to the staff and they will give you the parcel. You will need to do this within seven days or the parcel will be returned."

This felt like a really hard game of Spot-the-Difference.

We argued back and forth and I was ready to scream the next time the polite Indian man told me "don't worry Tanya, we will get this sorted out for you".

I considered having it sent to one of the workplaces where I work, but was worried as colleagues have had deliveries go missing. That seemed like the best option. I gave the address and specified that Wednesday was the only day I would be there to collect it.

Last night I received emails and texts confirming all the order details. The delivery address was basically my name and a suburb. While I have respect for Australia Post, I don't think that even they would be able to deliver the parcel with only that information. I clicked on the tracking number and the Vodafone website said that it was "on it's way" and "on the truck". I clicked a further link to the Australia Post website and was greeted with the news that the tracking number was invalid.

I became angry.

I called the "customer care" centre at Vodafone. After twenty minute of being on hold while the guy tried to figure out what was going on he suggested that I call Australia Post on Monday and ask them to change the address!

"Why would Australia Post change, over the phone, the delivery address of an item requiring personal deliver and signature when they have no way of verifying me? And anyway, how are they going to find the parcel when it has an invalid tracking number?"

"Well all you need to do Tanya, it is very simple, don't worry, is just give them a call on Monday and they can fix it for you."

"This is not my problem. This is Vodafone's mistake. I don't need to do anything."

"Well if you're not there, they will take it to the nearest post office for collection, don't worry."

"If I'm not "where"?"

"At the delivery address?"

"And what is the delivery address?"

...

"That's the problem isn't it? The parcel will not be delivered. It will be returned to sender. What you need to do is cancel this order and order me another phone for delivery with the correct address."

"Certainly, Tanya. That will take 10 business days..."

I try not to yell at call centre people. I've worked in one myself. I will confess that this morning I yelled. Nothing makes me as crazy as people who don't listen and aren't customer focussed. They were making this all my problem and it was not my problem.

"I started paying for the phone yesterday when I placed the order. Why do you think that I would be happy to wait for at least another three weeks to get the phone? That's ten days for you to get the phone back and then a week for another order to be placed and it to be re-sent. That is not what is going to happen. You're going to fix this."

"Don't worry Tanya. I will put you through to the upgrades team and they will be able to help you."

"Why didn't you do that 25 minutes ago?"

"Hello! Upgrades. Vipin speaking."

Suddenly I had been put through and it happened too quickly for a handover to have been done.


I told the story again.

"Oh well we can not add more information to the delivery details because our system doesn't allow the space."

This wasn't getting any better. I believe the hysterical, laughter may have entered the conversation at this point.

We went through exactly the same conversation as before. I was put on hold.

After 55 minutes on the phone Vipin offered to call Australia Post and change the delivery details to the complete address on Monday and confirmed that he will also call me on Monday to confirm arrangements. How they're going to find the parcel, given the tracking ID is invalid is beyond me, but I had nothing left.

Why was that not the solution offered in the beginning? I'm trying to have faith that the problem will be fixed, but I have no confidence. The only power I have is to take my business elsewhere. That will involve lots of paperwork,  more money and probably the same issue around delivery. Apart from this biennial problem, I'm very happy with the service and value. Why can't they get this right?

What's your strategy when you get sucked into the call centre vortex?

As a geek girl, I rule!

At this exact moment, I feel like I could conquer the world.  I feel like I have gained secret knowledge which gives me special powers.  It has taken a lot of thinking, sweat, frustration, persistence and ultimately dogged determination to arrive at this point.  Having done so, this smug feeling requires some revelling.

It all started on Thursday when I took delivery of my new iphone.  It's the 4s.  I previously had a 4.  I didn't expect that switching from one to the other would be too difficult.  I followed all the instructions, using itunes to transfer everything from the old phone to the new phone.  Simple.

I have three different email accounts which are (were) connected to my iphone so I can access everything on the go.  I remember their set up being very straightforward.  My main account is gmail and every time I tried to access the mail I would get a message telling me that my username or password was wrong.  This was a lie!  My username and password were not wrong.  They were correct.

I tried again.  The same thing happened.  Tried again. Same thing. Again. Nothing happened. 

No other process has the ability to put me into a state of helpless frustration.  I'm a smart person.  I'm not afraid of technology.  I am happy to follow instructions.  The worst thing is that all you are given in this situation is an error message.  There is no ability to ask a question or seek directions about fixing the problem.

I decided I would change my gmail password on my computer and then just input the new one on the iphone.  At the end of this process and carefully triple checking the password, the same error message came up.

I called Vodafone for help.

The woman told me to delete the account, turn the phone off and start again.  Everything would be fine.

Famous last words.  Everything was not fine.  When I turned the phone back on and tried to access my gmail it delivered the same infuriatingly uninformative message.  Talk about computer says "no"!  I put the phone away.  Perhaps if I gave it some privacy it would sort itself out and we could be friends again.

After some dinner and a TV show, I came back and lovingly punched in my brand spanking new password. No.  Again.  For luck.  NO NO NO NO NO!

I called Vodafone again.  The guy told me to do exactly what I'd already done.  We did it again. No. We restored the factory settings.  We tried again. No.  He suggested I log into gmail via the Safari web browser. Hey presto!  I could access the account.  He sighed.  See, I was telling the truth about my password.  Then he did what all good call centre people do when they don't know the answer: he fobbed me off with a rubbish suggestion and blamed me for the problem.  

"It's because you changed your password.  It takes 48 hours for the password to reach the server.  Just wait and try again later."

48 hours? Google doesn't take 48 hours to do anything.  I was suspicious and asked some questions like "how come I can log in on the browser then?".  The answer was to just wait 48 hours.  Everything will be fine.

Everything was not fine.  I turned on my Sony tablet and received the same refusal of entry to my gmail.  Hmmm. Progress. This wasn't an iphone problem.  It was something to do with gmail.

Another Vodafone guy promised to get tech support to call me again this morning.  This didn't happen.  I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I googled the problem.  Thousands (millions?) of people have had the same problem as me!  There were lots of different suggestions about what to do.  With hope in my heart I followed the instructions in the first one.  No. Then the second.  No.  Then the third one.  No.  I struggled for breath as I fought the urge to throw the phone at the wall.

Taking matters into my own hands, I delved into the gmail settings and took a punt on "application specific passwords".  This is part of the two step verification process which is set up on an opt in basis.  I had obviously opted in at some point and here lay the answer.  I could see "gmail on iphone" and "gmail on tablet".  I revoked access on both and then requested a new application specific password.  Now my heart was racing with excitement - I could feel that the end was nigh - in a good way.

I punched the provided password into the iphone and suddenly my gmail account went nuts.  Mail was flooding in! There was no waggling of the finger as I was told that my password was wrong.  My heart sang!

Google has put layers of security on to its log on procedures, and getting a new application specific password would be the first thing to do.  The security is a good thing in my opinion, but it's so easy to forget once it has been set.  Why do the technical help desks not suggest this?  I would ring them back and tell them but I don't think they care.

STOP PRESS>>> Vodafone called me back just now as I'm writing.  I've provided the solution to them.  It was news to them and they seemed pleased to know.  They were even sweet enough to congratulate me.

Now that I have established myself as a geeky tech grrrl, I'm ready to try again in my quest to conquer the wireless printer.  Wireless my eye!  I will get there.  I've hunted down DOS commands to find IP addresses and I'm having fantasies that I'm more savvy than Lisbeth Salander, you know, the girl with the dragon tattoo.  

I'd better not get ahead of myself.  At the moment, the printer has its teeth bared and is laughing its head off.

*******

Something else I've learnt this week is that if your phone company gives you the option to contact them via social media, do it!  Despite the grievances which have arisen with Vodafone this week, I'm impressed with their social media.  Responses on Twitter were fairly instant.  I ended up having the problem resolved via facebook.  Only through facebook was I able to make contact with someone local via email and telephone.  I don't think I'll ever ring again! Thought you might like to know.

Your call is so important to us we're going to treat you with contempt.

Today was characterised by communication - sometimes success, but largely failures.  I do a lot of rework or double handling of issues on behalf of large organisations.  Managing the relationships with large service providers should not be my responsibility.  I think they should do everything possible for our relationship to be set and forget.  I want it to be invisible.  I don't want to have to talk to anyone.  If something does arise and I do have to talk, I don't want it to take three phone calls of half an hour's duration every time.

Last week I called Citylink because I received a letter telling me I had travelled illegally on the toll road because my car is not registered for travel.  My car is registered for travel.  I have an account.  I would have to call.

I spoke to Michael who was very helpful.  He told me my account had no credit card details registered.  I told him my account has always had a credit card on it.  He told me it never had.  I told him to look at the history of payment for the last bazillion years to see how the payments had been made.  Of course they had been via direct debit from my credit card.  He suggested the card may have expired.  It hadn't.  I gave him the number.  I also said that I would pay the amounts outstanding immediately by b-pay.  I entered the biller code and customer reference number into my banking system as he dictated them to me over the phone. The payment went through.  I had a receipt number and everything.

Late last week I received another letter telling me I was about to receive a fine because I hadn't paid the account.  I would have to call again.

Today I spoke to Stephanie.  Stephanie works in a call centre and the main part of her job is to actually listen.  Stephanie would ask me for information.  I would give it to her.  She would ask me to repeat it.  This got old after the third time when I politely asked her to listen to me.

Once we dealt with that, she advised me that I hadn't paid anything on the account.  I logged onto internet banking and quoted the details of where the money had left my account.

"You've used the wrong biller code," was Stephanie's response.

"I used the biller code provided to me over the phone by Michael," was my response.

She went on to tell me that I was wrong and now the payment was lost and it would require people in head office to "look into it".

I asked Stephanie how long that would take.

"A week."

I asked Stephanie what happens to my account and ability to travel in the meantime.

"Your account is suspended because you haven't paid it so you're not registered to travel. You can buy a day pass for $14 if you want."

There was so much wrong with this statement, I decided to take a different tack.

"Please put me through to the relevant person in head office."

"That's not possible."

"Why not?"

"They're in a different building."

"We're in a different building and we're able to speak to each other...please put me through to the relevant person in head office."

"The only way you can contact them is to send them an email."  Stephanie gave me the address.

"Please put me through to your manager."

"Certainly."

I was placed on hold for the amount of time it took for me to make a toasted ham and cheese sandwich (with French mustard and a twist of pepper) for lunch.  I had plated up and was about to take my first bite when Stephanie came back on the line to advise me that her team leader would need to call me back.

I asked for the team leader's name (Amy) and advised that she would need to call before 3pm as I would be at the hairdresser then.

At 3:05pm my phone rang.  I just answered with "hello" as the call was from a blocked number and I always like to know who's calling before I get too friendly.

The woman on the other end of the phone said:  "So you're concerned that you've got four late toll notices and charges of about $500 is that right?"

"No.  Who is calling please?"

"I'm a team leader at Citylink.  I was asked to call you back."

"Are you Amy?"

"Yes."

"Well Amy, I don't have four late toll invoices and my charges are no where near that amount, that I know of.  What's going on?"

"Are you Karen?"

"No.  I'm Tanya."

"Oh yes, sorry.  I was calling Karen.  I have to call you too."

"Well while you've got me, shall we talk about my situation even though I'm now at the hairdresser and it isn't really convenient?"

We did manage to clarify a few things but it was a clunky way to start and I won't believe that anything has been fixed until I actually see that it has been fixed.  Meanwhile, I'm still not registered to travel.  Luckily I drive infrequently.

At the other end of the spectrum, I had a love note from my mobile phone provider (Vodafone) offering me an upgrade on my phone and an unbelievable deal if only I would swear loyalty to them for a little while longer.  Great!  I don't want to change providers but I don't want to pay more for anything and I'm pretty happy with the plan that I'm on,  so let's see what the details are.

Within fifteen minutes, I had been offered a new phone, an extra $150 worth of calls a month, an increase in my data allowance for exactly the same price I was paying now.  I said yes.

I knew that the next question was going to be about delivery.  They won't deliver to a post office box because a signature is required.  This is despite me regularly receiving parcels which require signature on receipt.  I've stopped arguing about this one now as I work from home and am often likely to be here.

I asked when it would be delivered and was told Wednesday or Thursday.  I know that I won't be available on Wednesday so asked for them not to deliver that day.  Suddenly everything became difficult.  "Well, I can put a note on the account but I can't guarantee anything.  If you're not there when it's delivered it will go to the post office and you can collect it there."

I sighed.  Because that is so different from delivering it to my post office box in the first place.  I rolled my eyes.  I succumbed.

We'll see what happens.  I have this funny feeling that I'll come home to a card in the letterbox on Wednesday evening and complex conversations will need to take place.  At least I don't have to drive on a toll road to go and pick it up if that does happen.

Are my expectations too high?  Should I expect less when I'm dealing with "customer service" departments? What drives you crazy about talking to customer service call centres?