City return - time for the photos.

I love Melbourne, but having over a month away has been a tonic. It's as if the dust that had settled on everything has been blown away and there's a new light on everything. I'm feeling reinvigorated and ambitious for the year ahead.

Cowgirl
© divacultura 2014

My time away was spent outside Toowoomba in Queensland, in country NSW, Tamworth and Lennox Head. Some of the time was spent hanging out with various family members, some of it was spent at Summersong music camp and some of it overlapped with the Tamworth Country Music Festival. When I've attended a gig there before I couldn't see for the hats, so this year I wore one too!


On my flight home yesterday, I was reading a physical book called Difficult Men. It's about television covering both the characters (Tony Soprano) and the creators (David Chase). It is absorbing reading and I barely noticed anyone else around me. After we'd landed and everyone was standing quietly in the aisle waiting to deplane, the bloke who had been sitting next to me said in a booming voice: "That book you're reading...Do you have one? Do you want one? Did you get rid of one?"

I laughed and responded: "Well, this morning I finished a book about psychopaths*, so draw your own conclusions!"

That hit the mark. I'd never thought about the potential for stand-up comedy in this context. I'd also forgotten about the privacy afforded by reading e-books.

While away, I took some photos that I really like and will share them from time to time. Hope you like them.

© divacultura 2014

This little wallaby is a regular visitor.
© divacultura 2014

In the shadow of the windmill.
© divacultura 2014

* The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson - another absorbing read.

On approach to Alice Springs

A quick turnaround in Alice Springs en route to Darwin has turned into a four hour extravaganza.  I'll miss the afternoon I had planned to reacquaint my skin with sun and my body with the hotel pool as I'll now arrive at dinner time instead of early afternoon.  Ah well, this is not within my control so there is no point being anxious or angry.

Since last week's bag-falling-on-head incident, I have switched my seating preference from aisle to window and enjoyed the view as we flew over the heart of Australia.

It is a red heart, nothing but sand stretching on and on and on.  Ten minutes later there may be a smattering of vegetation, small wiry clumps looking like the stubble on the chin of a dark haired man.  Rocky outcrops appear.  Some of them look like a partly submerged crocodile, the khaki-coloured lumpy spine curving to meet its head.  Beyond the head I see a formation that looks like foot prints from a gigantic prehistoric bird.

The land changes again and I understand the paintings made by the Aboriginal people.  Looking at the land below, I could be standing before one of their canvasses covered with dots and lines and concentric circles.  Small sandy circles appear.  Perhaps they are water holes.  Without access to an aircraft I wonder how the Old People knew what the land looked like? A ribbon flows through, the centre of the bed tattooed by trees.   I wonder if this river of sand once - still? - carries water.

I see no houses.  I see the veins of dirt roads but no vehicles.  There's the glint of the railway line, proudly declaring its straight, true lines in contrast to the deceptive softness of the harsh country.

The rocks change and I am reminded of drawing contour maps in grade 9 geography under Mrs Rosenthal's instruction.  They have meaning now.  Other memories of that class come to mind - learning about barchan sand dunes out in the long jump pit and writing out one hundred times that a wind is named according to the direction it comes FROM.  (Of course I knew that the grammar was wrong, but this was geography, not English, and the formal "from whence it came" would be unwelcome as a piece of smart aleckry.)  Patches of white stand out against the dark grey-green of the rocks - sand, salt or ash? I wonder.

We near Alice Springs. The vegetation thickens again.  The road is bitumen and the markings are visible.  I count four vehicles going about their business.  The geometry of buildings contrast with the natural shapes.  The township pulsates just ahead.

The plane's shadow is tiny on the ground and I have to look slightly backwards to see it.  I know we are descending as this shadow grows larger, finally meeting its creator as we gently touch the tarmac.

Disembarking down the rear stairs and onto the tarmac, the warmth is welcome.  It was 9 degrees Celsius when my cab picked me up from home this morning.  It feels like a very pleasant mid-twenties with a very light breeze.

I will find a way to make the most of this delay.

Flying over the heart of Australia - view from 20F
© divacultura 2013

Red sand, red sand, red sand
© divacultura 2013

My favourite things... this week

I was away in Sydney this week having a very busy time.  The days were long and time available to think and write was limited.  Prioritising sleep was critical.  So, sorry there were no posts this week.  It's a freezing, wet and windy Friday in Melbourne so coming back from lovely weather interstate was a bit of shock.

Here are my favourite things this week.

1. Time spent walking up and down the long driveway of the place I was visiting - to retrieve a forgotten item from the car, to meet a visitor, to make an appointment with a colleague - was to be relished.  I spotted this marvellous tree.

© divacultura 2013

 When I looked out the other way, this is the view I saw:

On the third trip up the driveway, I stopped and took in my surroundings.  I could forgive the long days and the lack of space to do my own work.  It was like a mini relaxation session.

2. As I was reading a notice advertising changes to train services over the weekend I noticed someone had failed to proofread:

Footscary?
© divacultura 2013

Last time I checked, Melbourne did not have a suburb called "Footscary".  There is one just down the road, along the train line, called "Footscray".  Footscray gets a bad rap.  Any wonder when the people running Melbourne's trains can't even get your name right.  When I tweeted this photo, many responders advised that the misprinted name was more apt.  #changefootscray2footscary

3. Sitting in my assigned seat aboard a Qantas flight yesterday afternoon, I was reading my book.  The flight was full and it seemed most people had 27 pieces of hand luggage.  (Why don't they enforce the limits?)  Suddenly I was hit directly on the top of my head.  A man was moving bags in the overhead locker and a very heavy one landed on me.  I cried out and then burst into tears, both from pain and shock.  It really, really hurt.  The man said nothing.  Didn't apologise.  Didn't check to see that I was okay.  

A fellow passenger who witnessed the incident asked if I was okay and asked me if I was bleeding (I wasn't).  He advised me to tell cabin crew and told me he would be a witness if required.  

Qantas cabin crew were amazing.  They brought me pain relief immediately and checked that I was okay to fly.  Throughout the flight most members of the crew checked on me to make sure I was okay.  I was most worried about my neck and I had a hell of a headache.  

You might be wondering why this is a "favourite  moment"?  Firstly the care I received from cabin crew was wonderful.  Secondly, so far, I seem to be okay.  I'm monitoring myself for any evidence of an impact injury.  I've also changed my seating preference from aisle to window.  (It's the second time a passenger's activities in the overhead lockers have resulted in something landing on my head!)

4.  It's great to be home!  (Even if it is cold and miserable!)

What were your favourite moments this week?

Security breach puts travellers in airport lock down

Brisbane airport - 24 July 2013
© divacultura 2013

This is what confronted me when I arrived at Brisbane airport last night to catch a flight home to Melbourne.  As I walked across to the terminal from the train station, I saw hundreds of people in the terminal and immediately knew something was wrong.  The only time I've seen an airport as busy as this was at about 5:30am over in Perth.

This was different.  For a start everyone was facing in the one direction.  I soon discovered they were looking at the departures board.  The departures board had a list of flights with no departure information.  Definitely unusual.

I approached two women and asked what was going on.  They told me there had been some kind of security breach.  I asked a couple of others and found out that someone had walked back inside the secure zone after they had left.  This meant that everyone who was inside the secure zone had to be evacuated to the non-secure side and go through security again.

I checked my bag in and found a spot on the floor and took a seat.  I was booked on a 7:10pm flight so I wasn't late, but I needed food.  After a day feeling unwell, I hadn't eaten anything and was just starting to feel like something plain - like toast, crackers or a bowl of rice.  The closest thing I could find was a bag of chips in a vending machine, but the vending machine only took coins or a $5 or $10 note.  I had a $50 note in my wallet.  Down the other end of the terminal I found a machine that took credit cards.  I swiped it.  It didn't look like it worked so I swiped it again.  I ended up buying 2 packets of chips.

Settling back on my spot on the floor, I listened to the announcements.  A woman's voice explained that they were now going to call particular flights.  She pleaded with us to wait if we were not on the flights called.  She reassured us that everyone would be called through and no one would be left behind.  A flight to Tamworth was called and a huge crowd surged forward.  It seemed like an awful lot of people travelling to Tamworth!  Soon another announcement from the same woman asked again for ONLY the people on flights that had been called to come through security.  She sounded frustrated.  I looked up and there she was standing beside me.  She looked stressed.

When she finished speaking I said thank you to her and told her what a great job she was doing.  She rolled her eyes and said how awful the afternoon had been.  I repeated that she was doing a great job.  She looked grateful and seemed amazed that anyone would notice and take the time to compliment her.

Another woman then walked through the crowd and started giving contradictory information calling out flight numbers that weren't up on the screen and hadn't been called out by the amplified announcement.  A passenger walked up and said something to this woman.  She didn't look happy.  The staff member gave some directions; the other woman shook her head and sighed.  As she walked away she shook her head and was muttering under her breath.

These scenes were repeated in little clusters across the terminal.

My flight was called and I walked through to security.  The staff there were working very fast.  I said hello and asked them how they were going.  They looked pleased to be acknowledged as human beings as most people going through looked grumpy.

As I made my way to the gate, a man walked beside me muttering about his flight being closed.

"My flight's &%^$ing closed!"

"It won't be closed.  You'll be okay."

"It says it's closed!  I won't be happy."

"You'll be okay," I called to his back as he rumbled down the concourse.

It's interesting to watch people get worked up about something that they have no control over.  Why yell at people who are doing their best to manage in the circumstances?  And why spend time getting worked up about a flight that might be closed instead of spending the time getting to the gate?  Strange.

In the end, my flight was only 10 minutes late.  I was very happy to sit on a seat - airport floors are very hard and cold!

What's your plan  when things don't go to plan?

How I stop regular travel being a drag.

Here I am in Perth again.  With all this regular travel there are some things that make life a bit easier on the road.

1. Finding a hotel where the staff care and the facilities are pleasant can be a challenge, but it's worth it.  Today when I checked in, I was greeted warmly and the woman at the desk commented that I'd stayed before and welcomed me back.  Although I know she would have been reading something on the screen, she was genuine in what she said and clearly the check-in system was well designed to give her relevant information.   She asked about breakfast and I was able to pre-purchase vouchers at a cheaper price than if I just turned up in the morning.  About ten minutes after I'd settled into my room she called to see that everything was okay.

2. I have a travel toiletry kit that stays packed with all the stuff I need to take.  When I'm going away I just need to check whether anything needs topping up, but otherwise I just sling it into the suitcase.  (I regularly collect samples of favourite products I regularly use from the stores I frequent too.)  Dry shampoo is my latest discovery.  With long hair to maintain washing and styling can require a lot of extra stuff.  Now I plan ahead to make sure I'm travelling with freshly washed hair and if needed I can use the dry shampoo to freshen up.  That stuff is great, but can't be carried in hand luggage as it's aerosol.

3. The greatest gift I've ever received from an airline was electronic bag tags when I reached the next frequent flyer status level.  I check in online or from my mobile and then go straight to bag drop when I arrive at the airport.  Much more efficient than standing in lines.

4. A small size laptop to take on the go.  Mine fits in a large handbag.  When I'm at home I use it to connect to my television so I can watch video stored on my portable hard drive.  I have a tablet too, but it's for accessing documents and not great for writing.

5.  To complement my laptop and tablet, I finally invested in decent mobile broadband as the rates in hotels are extremely inflated and it's not always convenient to go on the hunt for somewhere with free wi-fi; and there are security considerations with public networks that I now don't need to worry about.

6. Smells can evoke home.  Usually hotel rooms smell of cleaning products, or worse, like the last person who stayed there.  I have a portable aromatherapy diffuser that travels in its own zip up pouch with enough space for two small bottles of essential oil.  I carry a lively and refreshing oil like peppermint or lime which I diffuse when I first arrive and also a sleep blend for bedtime.  My hotel room smells familiar.

7. I always pack my walking shoes and make time to wander around at the beginning or the end of the day.

8. When I return home I unpack immediately.  I don't want to be living out of a suitcase after I've returned home.  Toiletries and aromatherapy diffuser stay in the suitcase.

9. Lastly I have my own reliable taxi driver.  He always turns up on time or sends someone if he can't come.  Again, there's no waiting in lines.

What do you do to make regular travel easier?

Early morning airport observations

I'm at Perth airport again.  I arrived at 4:10am.  It's a very quick drive to the airport at this time of the morning.  In fact, I recommend 4am as a great time to get around in a city choked by traffic, compounded by roadworks.  My flight doesn't leave until 6:10am, yet here I am.

The cab driver who took me from the office back to my hotel last night spoke of taxi apocalypse this morning.  Apparently it's quite impossible to get a cab between 4 and 5am.  Everyone is going to the airport and there aren't enough cabs to meet demand.  To make matters even worse, something went wrong with a cruise ship and there are 3000 or 5000 people who are in Perth, filling the hotels and all wanting to go to the airport.  He told horror stories of Irish girls from Adelaide missing their flight all because they didn't understand the problems of getting a cab at that hour of the morning.

I had experienced the issue last time I was in Perth, so I decided to believe him.  I booked a cab last night with a pick up time of 4am.  My alarm went off at 3:20am which gave me enough time to have a shower and check out of the hotel.  I wasn't going to be late and have a cab leave without me!  I was in that cab at 3:55am and fifteen minutes later had checked my bag and was through security.  I'm here so early I have two hours before my flight leaves and none of the shops are open.

This morning I didn't mind being stopped for my usual explosives scan.

"Have you had one of these before?" the woman wielding the wand asks me.

"I'm the most scanned woman in Australia," I reply.

I remember my guest pass for the Qantas Club and decide that this morning would be the perfect time to use it.

So here I sit.  Looking around me, I can see that apart from the barrista at the coffee machine and the woman wrangling the pancake machine and a woman clearing plates, I am the only woman in here. If this was a nightclub, I'd be in business. Other guests are clad in the local uniform; this time the high-visibility shirts are yellow, not orange, and the men wearing them are reading the Financial Review, working on laptop computers or doing something on an ipad.  Spaces are filling at the benches and the tables and the level of noise is growing.  I imagine that in about half hour it will be crowded and noisy.

Pat is the barrista who is working the espresso machine.  A long queue of people snakes along the bar.  She takes orders from the next three people in the queue.  I order a latte and after me the orders are for a skinny capuccino and a soy latte.  Her eyes meet mine.  I can see her rolling her eyes and thinking "can't you just have normal coffee".

"How many coffees do you make in a day Pat?"  I ask her, smiling.

She smiles tiredly.  "Only about a thousand," as though that is all in a normal day's work.  For Pat, it is.  It's not even 4:30am and she looks like she's already half way through that number.

The coffee is good.  The practice is paying off.

The destinations on the departure board are still exotic to me, even though I've been here a few times now. It's now 5am and the first flights are being called: Paraburdoo, Karratha, Cloudbreak, Christmas Creek. They sound musical and unmistakably Australian. I look down the list on the departure board to find the familiar Melbourne, Adelaide and Broome.

Looking out the floor to ceiling windows wrapped around the Club the tarmac is on display.  A luggage trailer snakes along to the nearest plane.  Green and blue lights mark out territory and have meaning for those who know how to read them.

Meanwhile, text messages from Metro Trains back in Melbourne are coming through to tell me about train cancellations and alterations to services.  I am a long way from there and glad not to be standing on a train platform thwarted in my efforts to get to where I'm going.

Catching this early flight always seems like a good idea.  As interesting as it is, I'd rather be home in bed.

$30 worth of wisdom

The taxi driver's phone was ringing when I got into the back seat.  At least I think it was ringing.  It played what sounded like the soundtrack to a cartoon.  It played for about a minute.  He made no move to answer it.  For this I was grateful.  Blaring out of the speakers behind me was 1950's music, all sung tales of love gone wrong. 

The taxi driver was chatty, but muffled.  He was competing with lost love, shoo-bop-du-wop and had a big Tom Selleck moustache dampening all sound coming from his mouth.

It was 37 degrees Celsius when I arrived in Perth.  It was a nice change from the freezing conditions I'd just endured on Qantas flight 777 from Melbourne. I shared the story with the driver when he enquired about my flight.

"I asked the attendant for a blanket.  You know what he said?"

"No.  What did he say?"

"There are no blankets.  And then his offsider chimed in with the statement, 'we're all hot!'"

The driver wisely replied, "Well, they're probably hot because they're running around fetching blankets for everyone!  You'd think they'd work out what's going on if they've run out of blankets!  People are cold!  Turn up the heat!  That's all they need to do!  Then the stewards can stop running around with blankets and they wouldn't be too hot!  Everyone's happy!"

"You're right, " I said.

"Which airline?"

"Qantas."

"Perhaps it's part of their new advertising campaign."  He paused dramatically.  "Fly Qantas.  We're cool."

"Yeah, or 'Fly Qantas.  The fridge in the sky.'"

He thought that was so funny he slapped the steering wheel.

A female singer's sorrowful voice dramatically declared, "You don't love me anymore - I'll step down."

I laughed.  What was she, chariman of the board?  Prime Minister?

"That's dramatic," I said.

"It's what happens now.  With all the horses, " he replied.

What do horses have to do with it?  Maybe it was some obscure reference to the name of the group doing the backing vocals. 

"What do you mean?"

"One in three marriages end with the horses.  You could say they step down."

Was he talking about dressage?  The horses are stepping now?

"Sorry?  Horses?"

"Divorces...divorces.  You know..."

"Oh, divorces.  I thought you said 'the horses'...never mind."

I felt like I was in a scene with Peter Sellers.  They should tell them the moustache is hazardous to conversational comprehension. 

He went on:  "85 per cent of men play up, you know."

"And the other 15 per cent are lying?" I quipped.

"Well you can't be loving one woman when you're in love with another one.  She needs to step down."

"Or the man could step up."

He fell silent. 

Then: "You are a very smart woman."

Is this how he picks up women?  I wondered.

He then explained his opposition to daylight saving and his theory that it's a conspiracy of fast food chains because it's too hot to cook.

"Daylight saving doesn't change the temperature, " I pointed out.

He shook his head.  Clearly I wasn't that smart anymore.

We arrived at my hotel just in time to spare him from further disappointment about my dwindling intellect.

"Enjoy your stay while you're here," he said as he handed me my bag from the boot of the car.

When else would I enjoy it? While I'm somewhere else?

All that wisdom and entertainment for just under $30 too.

Everything's back to "normal"

Here's today's sequence of events.

Left the family farm on time and without incident.

Travelled at a snail's pace over the gravel road because it is even worse than usual after heavy rain.  Imagine driving on the surface of the moon, but with gravity.

Arrive at Tamworth airport three hours before my flight on the advice of Qantas letting me know that I could check bags in three hours before my flight.  Of course, that may be true if you're in a big city, but isn't true of an airport in a large regional centre.  Even if it is the country music capital.

Have a very pleasant, if rushed, lunch so that I could arrive back at airport no later than 1pm to check in my baggage.

Nearly get knocked out when the boot of the car crashes onto my head as I am retrieving my bag.

Advised by check-in guy that the flight was delayed by at least ten minutes.

As the minutes tick by we quickly conclude it is in fact delayed by many more minutes.

Very bumpy flight to Sydney.

Flight attendants in a snit because tea and coffee service could not be conducted because of the bumps.  I really don't care because the flight is so short it would be better just to have a communal bowl with lots of straws for us to suck our share.

Pfafffff around on tarmac transferring everyone from plane to too-small-bus to transport us to the terminal.  It must have been at least 20 metres from the plane to the terminal but they drove around in a big circle to make it seem like all the pfaffffing was worth it.

On arrival in terminal discover my leisurely hour of coffee and wandering around the airport was not to be as my connecting flight in another terminal was already boarding.  Right leg chooses this moment to have a cramp and go into spasm.

Run like a  crippled maniac over moving walk ways and up escalators, unpack the laptop, take the sunglasses off my head and remove my very dangerous bangle only to be greeted by the world's slowest security staff enquiring about aerosols and umbrellas.

Go through screening without so much as a beep.  Quickly put everything together again willing the explosives screening guy not to pick me.  (I am the most screened woman in Australia, trust me.)

Make it onto flight which is boarding right near security.  YES!

Nap during flight.

Land in Melbourne.

Turn on mobile phone when instructed and receive a text message advising that my baggage has not arrived with me.  Excellent service - at least I don't have to stand at the carousel forlornly watching the same battered backpack go round three times before I draw the conclusion that my baggage has not arrived.

Very friendly and efficient woman at the baggage services desk.  She'd been paging me, but there was no aerobridge when we arrived, so I hadn't heard a thing.  Confirm delivery address and the fact the bag will arrive in Melbourne at 7:05pm and I should have my bag by 8pm.

Another reference number for my collection!

Wait two minutes for a cab.  The driver says three things to me, I have to ask him to repeat them all.  Twice.

Another text message comes through.  This time it's Metro Trains advising that the 6:30pm train I would have caught if I took the Skybus instead of a cab, had been cancelled.  A whole hour's notice!  Wow.  That's a big improvement even if the news is that they're still cancelling trains.

Taxi stops at red light.  Taxi driver starts screaming out the window to the driver in the cab next to him.  "Two dollars.  Two dollars." He's shaking something at the other driver.  I'm trying to convey to my mother that I have landed and am (safely) in a cab.

Arrive at home nauseous.  Driver has idiosyncratic driving style involving pressing his  foot on the accelerator and immediately taking it off and hitting the brakes.  Once he hit the freeway, he handled the steering wheel like vinyl on a turn table.  He'd touch it a little to the left, take his hands off, tug his seatbelt and then tug the wheel to the right and lean forward in his seat.  He went through this sequence repeatedly during the drive.

The car was very clean and his shirt was very white, but he could not drive!  I was on the verge of asking for a bucket.

Arrive home to discover my home phone is out of order.  Spend time talking to a call centre somewhere about this.

Go out for essential groceries.

Eat dinner.

Call baggage services at 8:30pm when there is no sign of bag.  Ben tells me it's in Melbourne and the next courier is leaving the airport at 9pm.  At precisely this moment, my out of order home phone miraculously rings.  It's baggage services asking if anyone will be home to take delivery of the bag no later than 10:30pm.

I suppose bags arriving 5 and a half hours after me is not too bad.

Although they're not here yet.

I had planned to let you know that normal transmission will be resumed today, but I don't think I can be sure of anything.